The Rantings of a Thinking Man

2008-08-01T22:47:00.000-07:00

I was like a kid in a candy store tonight...literally.

My eldest, Jeni, took me out to dinner tonight for my birthday since she won't be in town next Tuesday when I actually get older. She took me downtown to one of my favorite restaurants, Sticky Fingers...ok give me a second to wipe the drool and barbeque sauce off my chin.

When we left the parking garage we decided to cut through Mast General Store because it was still muggy out and we wanted some air. Mast General Store is a store cultivating reminiscing in order to get us to open our wallets. Well, it worked on us tonight. Near the entranced we used were wooden barrels filled with all kinds of candy, many that I had not seen since I was a kid. We started looking and Jeni said, "Go ahead get some. It is your birthday." So I did. It was a fun experience for both of us. I kept seeing candies I had enjoyed and acting just, well, like a kid in a candy store and she felt like the mom, a very candy friendly mom. At one point, I picked up a bag of some chocolate covered something and said, "Oooh" and then set it back down, only to hear Jeni say, "If you say 'ooh' you can put it in the basket." I ended up with a bag full of carmels, bottle caps, licorice, Zots, chocolate covered orange bon-bon things and more, and we both have more laughter inducing memories for the future.

So I say..."Thanks, 'MOM'...:D

2008-07-09T22:43:00.001-07:00

That only happens on TV.

I had an experience last week that made me look around for the cameras and director. It was funny and embarrassing.

Thursday, I had a prospect fill out an application, but she didn't have her check book with her, so she asked me if I was going to be in the office Friday, the 4th because she wanted to bring her holding deposit by then. I told her I would be and she mentioned that she would bring me a plate of food as well because she was going to go to a cook out.

Friday afternoon, the prospect called and asked how long I was going to be there. She had not made it to her cook out and she had been serious about bringing me a plate. I told I would be there until 4. She did not make it by.

Saturday, we celebrated Jen's 23 birthday. Laura, Jen and I went to see Hancock (a pretty decent movie). While we were gone, Marla stopped by with the dessert for Jen's party. While she was waiting for us to get back, my prospect stopped by to drop off her holding deposit. She left her number and asked me to call her. When I got back, I called her and she said she would be by in just a few minutes. She stopped by and dropped off her deposit, nothing was mentioned about the plate by either of us.

Meanwhile, we had ordered pasta from Pizza Hut (surprisingly tasty and cheap). It seemed to be taking an unreasonable amount of time to receive our pasta, so Laura asked me to call Pizza Hut and find out what was taking so long. I flipped my phone open and punched the last number dialed. A few rings later, the call was answered. The background noise was excessive, so I simply said, "This is Eric and I was wondering where my meal was"

A pause and then SHE said, " I'm so sorry. I forgot to get your plate yesterday."

2008-07-09T22:28:00.000-07:00

Screaming and throwing things at each other!!

This phrase was used by Laura over dinner the other day. What was she talking about? A couple she knows fighting? A scene from a movie or TV show? Perhaps a passage from a novel she is reading.

NO

She used this phrase when she was describing what she found when she was doing research on the presidential candidates. Her conclusion from a day of looking online for solid, detailed information about the candidates was that for the most part political "discussion" or "reporting" is just people screaming at each other and throwing things at each other. I agree! We both long for simple debate. You know, two or more people stating their position, view, opinion and then discussing what they agree or disagree about...honestly. We know that people will disagree, sometimes vehemently, but it is not necessary to substitute loud voices, name-calling, misleading "facts" and catch phrase in place of truth, facts, details and agreeing to disagree.

I have decried the minuscule numbers of people actually voting and I am often told that we are just to busy living our lives. I don't buy that argument, but I can see how it might appear a daunting task to find facts to make intelligent decisions with most on the airwaves, the paper media and the Internet not providing facts, just opinions and not very factual ones. But don't give up. Keep digging, because electing our leaders is more important that finding a good deal on collectibles, downloading the entire White Album or finding when "Dark Night" is showing next week.

2008-07-04T23:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Bbq and Fireworks Day!! and Happy Birthday to my firstborn, Jen!

I really do wish our great country happy birthday and I say a LOUD and PROUD THANK YOU to those who throughout our history served to make our country what it is today...FREE. I want to say to all those currently serving in our armed forces that we owe you a debt. We all do, whether we agree with where you are serving or why we are there, you are our heroes. You are the ones who make the ultimate sacrifice and I salute you!

Also, Jen, I am proud of you and wish you a great day. Of course, I still think someone counted wrong because there is no way I am old enough to have a 23 yr old daughter. You are a joy to your parents and I rejoice that you strive to glorify God in your daily life. Love ya!

2008-06-26T23:10:00.000-07:00

Going Green by Accident.

Ok maybe turquoise and maybe accident is not the right word. How about without planning.

Let me explain. I'm not a tree hugger, or a Green Peace hero. I don't Save the Planet on a regular basis, but awhile ago, I came to the realization that conserving energy, and not trashing the big blue ball we call home were probably good ideas. Not wanting to do anything radical, I made a couple simple changes. I bought a pack of those curly fry looking light bulbs, bought a battery charger and rechargeable batteries and got a bin for recycling from my local trash man. The last item is what led me "go green by accident". Here in Greenville, the Sanitation commission will recycle plastic bottles, cardboard, and paper. I got my bin and started separating my trash. The first week, I had very little in the bin when it went to the curb on Friday. Tonight when I set it out, I realized I might need another bin. Now, I'm not drinking more soda or unpacking more boxes. What I have discovered is how much we actually throw away which could be recycled. I finished a box of Kashi Autumn Wheat cereal(which by the way is right tasty) and started to drop the box in the trash can, when it hit me that the box is cardboard so it can be recycled. Ok, now before you think, "Duh!" I just had never thought about the box. It was my cereal container and when it didn't hold cereal, it served no purpose and things that hold no purpose go to the trash. So the cereal box led to paper towels which led to memo pads. So I recycle more now, but it didn't stop there. I needed to write down a phone message and my note pad was nowhere to be found. What was in front of me, was my power bill still in its roughly torn open envelope. I grabbed it and wrote the message on the back of the envelope. Then I took the bill out and left the envelope by the phone to take other messages instead of simply chunking it in the trash and buying a new memo pad. This led to me thinking twice about how I can use scrap paper, or partially written on paper. I realized that I wasted a lot of paper. I scratch a number on the front of a note pad sheet and then throw it away. Now , I use it all up and then throw it away...in the bin.

I've even had a positive effect on others recycling without bull horns or After School programs, just example. When a friend who works with me stopped by tonight, his 3 yr old son dropped his soda and spilled most of it out, so my friend made sure the can was empty and then walked across the parking lot and dropped it in my bin. He did this because it has become habit when he is here.

So my little efforts are having positive results, maybe not cooling down all this global warming, but a little step in taking care of our home.

So let's get Green!

2008-06-25T23:13:00.000-07:00

Rearranging the book wall.

So Marla told me that she thought i should swap the bottom shelf books for the top shelf. I did and she was right. I also did a little other rearranging. What do you think?

2008-06-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

We interupt this blog to bring you this breaking news...The book wall is finished!

When I was planning my move to the remodeled town home, I knew I would have to do something about my books. I had outgrown my worn out, Wal-Mart special, 1980's book shelves. I had books on counter tops, desks, tables, etc. When I saw the design for the remodeled town home, I saw the perfect place to put my books. The design of the shelves is a collaboration between Robert, the construction supervisor and yours truly. We ahd to alter it a bit, when I failed to find individual piecs of thick timber. The building of the shelves was a team effort from Robert's step-dad, Robert, and Jake and Mike(our 2 great framers). The look of the finished shelves benefitted from my labor and Laura's color choice. And finally, the walls actually look the color they should and covered with splotchy red spots thanks to Jason, our painter, carpet man.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOU HARD WORK!

I am so pleased with how this turned out. Hope y'all enjoy them.

2008-06-21T08:41:00.000-07:00

On the road again...

Well, not quite yet. In about a year, it will be "Road Trip...YEAH!...time again.

Let me explain. When Jeni, my oldest, graduated from high school, I wanted to give her a different kind of graduation present, something that would stick with her for years to come. Knowing that she loved to travel, I gave her a Road Trip. We rode Amtrak to New York City and spent 4 great days there before hopping in a rental car and visiting Cooperstown New York and Baseball's Hall of Fame. Then because we were in the state of NY, we had to visit Grandma in Buffalo and then we drove back to Greenville, SC. It was a fantastic trip.

When Laura, that's my youngest, graduated from high school there was no question as to her graduation gift.(She's a travel lover as well) This time we got a bit more ambitious and we brought along my 'adopted' daughter (Laura's best friend, Marla) to round out the Wood family road trip. After decking out Dad's van with cushions, bean bag chair and pillows, we drove to see Grandma in Buffalo. Then it was Niagara Falls, a drive across Ontario, a brief stop in Detroit and then on to Chicago for a four day stay there. Another great trip.

Jeni graduated with her Bachelors in History just a year ago, so we took off to Washington D.C. for a week, with a day trip to NYC. Once again, the road trip did not fail to excite and please.

Now Jeni has begun her Masters in Teaching which she will finish in one year, so I have a graduation trip to plan. Originally, Jeni had asked to travel to Europe, which held all kinds of possibilities, but a few weeks ago, she told me that she wanted to get to know her own country a bit more before she went overseas. She suggested a road trip across the US attempting to hit all the states west of Indiana that she has not been in. I loved the idea and began plotting courses.

The results of my first route included all the states in the continental US that Jeni has not visited west of Indiana. It also would have taken 19 days of an average of 8 hrs of driving time. Not a workable plan, so it was back to Yahoo Maps. I finally came up with a route that included 18 new states for Jeni and only 12 days of driving, which if broken up between early in the morning and later in the evening leaves plenty of "tourist" time and the drives will allow us to actually see the beauty that is America. So the route is set, or close to being set, now the details. Which I will discuss later, because my stomach is growling and it lunch time.

2008-06-14T22:32:00.000-07:00

How can you just sit there?

Friday night jazz, downtown Greenville, live band, drums, awesome blues guitar, singer with a cool powerful voice and far too many people doing a great imitation of statues. Friday night, Laura, my youngest, took me downtown to listen to some great jazz and blues. She wanted to dance, a lot of her fellow swing dances come out on Friday night and dance in the street, well, actually on the sidewalk or piazza in front of the Hyatt. I am too proud to attempt to dance with an audience of strangers watching, although they probably wouldn't pay attention to me, but you know how sensitive guy's egos are. Anyway, I will be learning to swing dance because it looked like a barrel full of fun.

It was interesting to see the effect that the music had on individuals in the crowd. The range of effects was staggeringly wide.

First, you had the dancers. There were the swing dancers, or some variation of that, dancers with steps and order. Then there the couples that just had to move their bodies to the music even though sometimes, their movements made me think I might need to call 911 to help them with their seizure. The amazing thing to me about this second group of dancers was how uninhibited they were, which might have been aided by liquid courage, but I think it was just natural response to the music. I envied their lack of foolish pride.

After the dancers, you had the seat dancers, or the shimmiers and shakers. These were the folks who, even though they were sitting down, or leaning against a tree or pole, could not sit still, they moved their legs in time with the beat, bobbed their heads, with animated facial expressions or lips mouthing the words. It was clear that these folks were moved by the music, but just could not bring themselves to join the dance floor, dance sidewalk, you get the point.

Then there were the toe tappers. Folks that liked the music and kept time with the feet. If you looked just at their upper body or face, you might have assumed the music didn't have anything for them, but one glimpse toward the ground reassured you that they were feeling the music as much as hearing it.

The final group amazed me, they never moved, not at all. I wanted to walk up and hold a mirror under there nose before calling the coroner. I don't understand how you can not move to music, maybe not as dramatically as a dancer, or with as much emphasis as seat dancer, but, come on, toe tapping is not hard and hardly draws attention to yourself. I don't know if it were a conscious decision to not look common by showing that you enjoyed the music or if they were deaf. Ok, maybe that is a little harsh, but I was stunned.

So that leaves just one more thing to report, my actions. I'm a seat shimmier, or in this case a concrete pillar dancer. I could not stop moving, of course Laura told me later that at one point she almost broke into a laugh because my head bobbing looked more like "Doing the Chicken" than any kind of dancing.

In conclusion: I had a blast!

2008-06-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

On my way to work, I ended up in a horror movie!

Ok, not quite, but close. I went to scrub the floors in a defunct textile mill for the company that owns the town homes I manage. We entered the mill through the well lit office area and proceeded deeper into the mill, by the time we entered the main area I was to work in, light had fled like a child at bath time. Sergio, our guide led us to a hall that was so dark, I swear, it didn't couldn't have spelled "light". As he walked into the hall, almost immediately disappearing from sight, he said, "I don't know where the light switches are. I decided I could help, so I pulled out my trusty cell phone and flipped it open using the screen light to look for switches. As I moved into the room, I shone the dim light on the wall intending to find illumination, but instead found a dark matter splashed against the wall and window. Now, I know I have watched too much CSI because the first thought I had was, "That's a blunt force blood splatter. " I decided to look at another wall and found more splatter. That was when I stopped. A minute later, Sergio found the lights, revealing a very dirty floor and walls splattered with...paint, food and grease. So no horror movie after all. Although through the job, I got glimpses of horror movie 'props' like the wall that looked like someone had died on the ceiling and bled out down the wall leaving long dripping lines of a reddish color, or the color of the water pooled up near the end of the job that I swear looked like the Nile after a visit from Moses.

I also saw some interesting things on the way to the job, not horror movie related at all.

As I we pulled near a town that sits near the border between NC and SC, I saw a 6' pole that was topped with a satellite dish and had one more just below it, with a sign that read, "Television Center" Slightly to the left and back off the road was the "Center", a 15' long beat up trailer, you know mobile home. You had to be there, it was funny. On the way back, there was an overgrown field and thin forest where a run down shack lived, right in front of the shack was a plastic deer, which made me wonder why someone would put a plastic deer near what was obviously an abandoned house. That was what I thought until the deer moved its head.

The textile mill I worked at today had closed a few years back, but the building owners tried to get some revenue by renting parts of the mill out to businesses and even the city. Just inside the door to the part of the mill where we worked, was a posted an official sign listing the location of various court officers and rooms:

"Superior Court Judge----->
<-------Family Court Clerk of Court------>

On a 8 1/2" x 11" sheet of paper written with a magic marker just below that official sign was the following sign:
<-------Yard Sale

Have a great day!

2008-04-06T21:46:00.000-07:00

Home Sweet Home

I am officially in my new town home. I have to get dressed to take a shower, in my old place, until the hot water gets hooked up and one of my kitchen cabinets is sitting on my counter instead of hanging proudly on the wall. There are a host of minor items that need addressing, but HALLELUJAH, I'm in! They did a fantastic job on this place and after almost nine years in the old place, this is heaven. Walking on this carpet makes my old 9+yr old carpet feel like walking on fuzzy concrete.

My youngest daughter and my 'adopted' daughter are in paradise because they get to decorate. They have some really great ideas and some, well, we will see. I had to pull back on the reins a little or they would have spent my next 5 paychecks.

The office is also almost ready. I can show it, but there is no furniture and there is no office type items like desk, internet, phone, computer, but soon.

I would describe myself right now as ...Ahhh, I'm home!

2008-03-19T21:57:00.000-07:00

I can smell the food. I can see the food. When do I get to eat it?

Being a fat guy, the illustration I used the other day to describe my feelings about the state of progress on the model unit for my apartment complex seems apropos. I said I feel like I am sitting at the dinner table, enjoying the pleasing aromas of a well cooked meal. I see someone bring my plate of food to the doorway of the dining room and the meal looks divine! As soon as the person bringing my meal walks through the doorway, they stop. They stand there allowing the fragrance of the meal to overwhelm the room, filling my nostrils with heaven. I can see the juiciness of the pot roast, the creaminess of the mashed potatoes, the fluffiness of the biscuits, but the plate is still resting on someone else's hand just out of my reach. HUNGRY YET?

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the model unit is close to completion. Today, I walked through it and made a short list of items that still needed completion. The place is looking incredible. Imagine that greasy diner your family quietly left before ordering on your last vacation, then imagine the 5 star restaurant you raved to friends and family about until they begged you to take them there. Got the pictures firmly embedded in your mind? Those two places are closer to each other than what the old #2 and the new model unit are. I exaggerate only slightly.

I have lived in this same town home for the last 9 years. I have been working in some capacity on this complex for over three years and I can not express how overjoyed I am at having a 54 town homes that look like the model and the property being a place people vie to live.

So while I am still drooling, it is a happy drool, because I know in a very short time, I am going to eat!

2008-02-17T23:12:00.000-08:00

It's written in the clouds!

Tonight, after a long, hard, exasperating, disheartening day, I decided to take a walk in the cool of the evening. As I was just about to end my stroll, I looked up and was greeted by low lying, thin clouds rushing across the sky like a teenage boy late for his first date. It was then that the Lord brought this thought to my mind, "It's over." My day was done and all the frustration was over. What a glorious thought! The people who I allowed to dampen my day, the experiences that were less than enjoyable, the struggles I had dealt with were now done. Sure, I will have to deal with some of these people again, and yes, some of the struggles will reappear, but, for now, it's over. I can lay my head on my soft pillow and rest. Thank you, God, for bringing me through another day, and thanks for the message in the clouds!

2008-02-15T08:41:00.000-08:00

Why is it taking sooooooo long?

So I'm feeling like an overeager child waiting for Christmas, but as an adult, I have to be excited about more work. I'm the property manager at a small town home complex that is currently undergoing renovation. Right now, I have 11 tenants, so basically, my job is cake. The remodeling that is going on is extensive and greatly needed. The new owners decided they wanted a property that people didn't run screaming away from once they got inside. I like their philosophy. I have lived on the property for 9 years and am almost beside myself waiting to see what a nice place looks like. The model unit has been in "It will be ready by Friday" status for over a month and I am going crazy waiting. It is particularly annoying recently as I can see how great it is going to look. but there is just a long list of details to finish. ARGGGGHHH. Funny thing is, once this model is done, I will actually have to start working, marketing and the like. What an adult...jumping up and down for more work...:D

2008-01-16T23:41:00.000-08:00

Old Man Winters takes a trip down South!
...Greenville, SC to be exact.

2008-01-06T01:18:00.000-08:00

Pick my new profile picture.

I can't decide which of these pictures to make my profile picture, so could y'all help me out and tell me which one you prefer?
Thanks

So I am a monkey's Uncle

Always sticking my head where it doesn't belong

2007-12-31T23:17:00.000-08:00

So another year has past and a new one has begun. It’s time to reflect on the past and plan for the future. Ok, that is what everyone says and few do. I did a little of both yesterday and this evening. I remember that 2007 was a year full of big failings, large mess-ups and great disappointments and if I stopped there depression would be my best friend, but 2007 was much more than that. There were small victories, like losing 30+ pounds, being slightly more consistent in daily routines, and going to church more often. This year was also a year when God showed Himself to me in mighty ways and with grace beyond measure. The entire ordeal of my herniated disc showed me much of God and led me to a closer relationship with Him. He taught me faith, chastised me for failing to bring glory to Him through my relationships with my employees and partner. He burdened me to be content in whatever situation He places me. 2007 was a good year.

Now on to 2008. The question on my board for this year is: “Where are you?”

God asked Adam this when he sinned, not because God didn’t know where he was, but He asked to make Adam consider his actions and decisions. I will be asking myself that question this year to make me think about what I am doing every day. Am I closer to God? Am I more disciplined? Am I closer to being debt-free? Am I closer to finishing my novel? I could go on, but you get the point. I spent an hour or two tonight writing out a list of goals for 2008. I am on the second page and am not done. I know ‘they’ say not to bite off more than you can chew, but I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I also know there is a lot that Eric has been slacking on and it is time to wake up and get to work.

Well, the party is over, the reveling is done. It’s time to buckle down and make 2008 remarkable.

Happy New Year, y’all!

2007-12-26T23:52:00.000-08:00

A swinging good Christmas!

I celebrated Christmas with my daughters and one daughter's boyfriend today. It was FANTASTIC! I have two daughters, Jeni & Laura and a 'daughter', Marla that I sort of adopted. My youngest daughter's best friend, is basically a part of my family now,so I say I have 3 daughters. When the girls came over this afternoon and added their presents for me and each other, my tree looked like it was being overwhelmed. The girls were insightful in their gift buying, not only buying things off my list, but since I like to cook and they like it when I cook, they decided I needed some things to cook with and filled my kitchen with new kitchen wares. This is especially nice, since I will be moving into a new town home in a month or so and would love to start my kitchen off right. I was able to give them a surprise or two, so the gift giving was great.

The highlight of the evening came with their final three gifts for me. First, I opened a gift to discover a silk white tie, then another revealed a pair of white suspenders and finally a five dollar bill. I was literally scratching my head trying to figure out the significance, when Laura gave me the clue that tied the gifts together, swing dance lessons and dancing. Laura has been swing dancing for sometime, she met her boyfriend swing dancing. She has wanted me to go for the longest time and I have wanted to, but have always been too busy. The girls decided to find the time for me. They wanted me to look the swing dance era part and they all wanted to dress up, so that explains the gifts. I must say, I did look dapper! Now, if all it took to be a good swing dancer was looking good, I would have been a star. Unfortunately, you have to learn some steps and put them together with some spins and a partner and music and well, let's just say, I need more practice. I had a blast, even being nervous about having 3 left feet, didn't stop me from having fun. This was Jeni's first time as well and she took to it like a fish to water. I am so busy concentrating on the steps that I lose the music, so my natural rhythm is stymied and when I focus on the song, I forget the steps and then get flustered. I am going to find some links that teach this and practice, so I can catch up to Laura & Robert (her boyfriend) and keep up with Jeni & Marla. This wasn't Marla's first time and you could tell. She helped me some with keeping my body centered. Marla's brother Michael-b went with us. He has learned some from Laura and Marla, but this was his first time at the club. It was like pulling teeth to get him to leave when we were headed to Denny's. He was good and smooth with the ladies.
I think for me, the best part of tonight was simply having the family together and having fun. I miss that and thoroughly enjoyed.

2007-12-24T22:04:00.000-08:00

God gave what man needed even when man didn't want it.

Merry Christmas, Everyone

2007-12-11T09:00:00.000-08:00

A proud dad showing off his daughter's work.

I'm going to be a typical dad and show off a paper my youngest daughter recently turned in for her English class at North Greenville University. She is an excellent writer and this paper really shows that.

Enjoy:

Harmonious Dissonance:

African-American Cultural Hybridity in the Harlem Renaissance

Voices heard or unheard, voices of different tone and pitch, voices from different walks of life, voices lyrical and poetic, voices direct or even mundane have called out, intertwined in struggle and purpose, exposing the harmonious dissonance that is African-American identity. Pulled from a swamp of oppression, ill treatment, and shame, African-Americans in the 1920’s faced a social atmosphere of racial tension, which required them to face head-on the problem of double consciousness. Would the black man become “white” in order to gain acceptance in culture? Would he dull his “African-ness” and become a whispered African in order to become a shouted American? Did only the racist majority define a black woman by the color of her skin or did she confine herself to be dictated by her exterior in the name of black pride or supporting the beauty of her race?

The voices of the Harlem Renaissance speak to this plight. Looking through the lens of American literature, specifically that of the Harlem Renaissance, one can gain incredible insight into the struggle of cultural hybridity for the African American. The literature exposes the precarious balance between African and American and the fight for the ability to enjoy one’s current country and yet remember one’s roots. Not every voice within the era sang the same tune. Some voices rang out deep and strong for the beauty of the African race and defied any attempt to be made white, while others sang their own song as an individual and sought to keep race on the exterior instead of internalizing it into who they were as a human being.

Langston Hughes

“One of the most promising of the young Negro poets said to me once, ‘I want to be a poet – not a Negro poet,’ meaning, I believe, ‘ I want to write like a white poet’; meaning subconsciously ‘I would like to be a white poet’; meaning behind that, ‘I would like to be white.’ And I was sorry the young man said that, for no great poet has ever been afraid of being himself.” (Hughes 1512) This quote from Hughes epitomizes the driving force behind Hugh’s mentality. Langston Hughes possessed a strong African voice. He spoke out against the black culture of the day that, in his eyes, tried to be as white as possible in order to fit in and have a successful life. Hughes saw this as a denial of an African-American’s true identity and an affront to black culture. To Hughes, the greatest thing was to be black and to be proud of it. In his poem “I, Too” he unveils this superior mentality through the smug laughter of the narrator. Even though the white men had always demeaned the black man, he stood strong and proud of his beauty and worth. Hughes wrote a series of short stories entitled, “Laughing to Keep From Crying” in some of which he portrayed multiple situations of black men with white men and the ensuing events depicting the social landscape and attempting to bring out the superiority of African-Americans. Hughes’s voice was very clear on his opinion concerning race. The black race was a beautiful race that had been suppressed and denied the right to glory in their worth. Hughes used his pen to paint African colors and emotions in such a way that would inspire his race to rise up and take a stand. Hughes’s works teemed with the theme of African-American identity and he pushed with all of his might that African-American’s might recognize their heritage and beauty instead of assimilating into the colorless world around them.

Claude McKay

“For the dim regions whence my fathers came / My spirit, bondaged by the body, longs.” ( 1922) Claude McKay’s voice joined Langston Hughes in his support of the African portion of the African-American identity. Although not an American by birth, McKay’s literature addresses keenly the struggle of the African-American, and his work speaks to suppression of African culture. The above quote is from McKay’s poem “Outcast” which bemoans the loss of the African-American’s identity due to the influence of the west. When McKay penned the words, “My soul would sing forgotten jungle songs. / But the great western world holds me in fee, / And I may never hope for full release / While to its alien gods I bend my knee, / Something in me is lost, forever lost, / Some vital thing has gone out of my heart, / And I must walk the way of life a ghost” (1689) he vibrantly illustrated what occurred when, from his perspective, African American’s became “Americanized.” The “whitening” of a black man was more than just an accommodation or assimilation; it was a stealing of soul and worth. A black man under the intense pressure of a white world was not free to be who he really was. McKay, like Hughes, depicted this struggle and painted pictures of African-American culture. He used his voice to sing out in harmony with Hughes to support the African of an African-American.

Zora Neal Hurston

“But I am not tragically colored. There is no great sorrow dammed up in my soul, nor lurking behind my eyes. I do not mind at all. … Even in the helter-skelter skirmish that is my life, I have seen that the world is to the strong regardless of a little pigmentation more or less. No, I do not weep at the world – I am too busy sharpening my oyster.” (Hurston 1711) In dissonance with the songs of Hughes and McKay, the song Hurston sings sounds less strongly of black pride, and heavier of individuality. Rather than depicting the pain, sorrow and oppression of African-American culture and allowing the promotion of her race to drive her, Hurston used her knowledge of her culture and study of the oral narrative tradition to present balanced pictures of African-American life. She did write about her culture and history, but not with the same driving passion and burning anger and resentment of Hughes. Hurston sought to balance her life as an individual with her roots and her depiction of that in her writing. In “How It Feels to Be Colored Me,” Hurston uses the analogy of colored bags containing basically the same contents, give or take an item or two to describe humans of different skin color. Unlike Hughes’s and McKay’s poetry intertwining so deeply the color of a man’s skin to his soul, Hurston uses this analogy to show that the color of skin, the exterior need not define the soul of a being. While not dismissing the culture and totally assimilating into a white world, Hurston’s voice sang a different tune than that of other authors during the Harlem Renaissance by pulling a step back and identifying herself as an individual rather than a black woman.

Phylis Wheatly

“'Twas mercy brought me from my Pagan land, / Taught my benighted soul to understand / That there's a God, that there's a Saviour too: / Once I redemption neither sought nor knew. / Some view our sable race with scornful eye, / "Their colour is a diabolic die." / Remember, Christians, Negro's, black as Cain, / May be refin'd, and join th' angelic train.” (Wheatly) While not actually a writer of the Harlem Renaissance, Phylis Wheatly was the first black woman poet and offers a distinctly different song. In the struggle of African-American hybridity and the fight for identity, the voice of Phylis Wheatly sings a sweeter, calmer, more peaceful song. Wheatly herself was a slave and of all of these writers seems to have the most reason to be bitter and fight for black freedom and pride. However, while in slavery, Wheatly was introduced to Christ and became a believer. This transformation in her life caused her to find blessing in what others considered the worst curse. Wheatly’s treatment of America within her literature was gracious and loving, for it was the place that brought her to her Savior. The slave ship was not a ship of death and oppression for Wheatly. She even chose to keep the name given her by her owners, which is something that would have been an affront to the later African-American writers like Hughes. This first published black woman author presents irony when contrasted to the later Harlem Renaissance authors, but her calm peaceful tone as a result of the change Christ had made in her heart might be a healing balm in the wounds of present day African-American culture if one looks deeper for the reason, and sees Christ, not an African-American woman selling out to the white world around her.

Jazz

“Jazz to me is one of the inherent expressions of Negro life in America: the eternal tom-tom beating in the Negro Soul – the tom-tom of revolt against weariness in a white world, a world of subway trains, and work, work, work; the tom-tom of joy and laughter, and pain swallowed in a smile.” (Hughes 1512) Langston Hughes’s “definition” of jazz begins to touch on the importance of this music to African-American culture. With so many voices intertwining in this identity struggle, jazz was almost a centralization, a unified voice of African-American identity. Rooted in the Negro spirituals and some would claim, even deeper in African music, jazz is truly African-American, truly hybrid. The rise in urbanization brought spirituals to the city and intertwined the city life of black men and women with the rhythms and soulful expressions of African music. Langston Hughes viewed jazz as essential to African-American culture and used it as a voice to speak the heart of his people. “The Weary Blues” takes on the form and rhythm of the music it depicts and the reader can almost feel more of the meaning within this poem than he could read straight off of the page. Zora Neal Hurston, in “How it Feels to be Colored Me”, seems to claim that one of the differences between her race and others is contained within the ability to relate to jazz. As an African-American, this music speaks deep into her soul and pulls from within her the African that sometimes lies sleeping, while a white man simply enjoys the toe-tapping tunes he hears. The syncopation and improvisation of jazz broke into the heavily structured music around it and awoke something within listeners that gave it a communicative ability unmatched, some would claim even to this day. Jazz affected the form of literature by infusing a musical strain into words, but it also dug deep into the struggle and soul of a culture. The music that originated simply within the African-American sphere spread like wildfire and transformed the whole of musicality. “The ability of African performance arts to transform the European tradition of composition while assimilating some of its elements is perhaps the most striking and powerful evolutionary force in the history of modern music.” (Gioia 8) The power that jazz possessed within culture could have stemmed from many things, but when considered in conjunction with the literature and the social landscape of the time, it seems that some of its power comes from the fire it was born out of. Jazz is not simply a little tune someone came up with one day; Jazz is the expression of thousands of souls, the cries of millions of voices, the heartbeat of a culture steeped in turmoil. With that source, it is no wonder that it transformed the landscape of music.

The unique, harmonious yet dissonant song of hybridity for the African-American weaved throughout a tumultuous landscape in the 1920’s and further and left that land forever changed. What is an African-American? No unified answer responds to that haunting question. Even into the present authors and artists still fight for a definition. The struggle, however, left behind a beautiful legacy and inspired a nation. This battle for identity continues almost inevitably because the tension forever remains. The hyphen always separates the African from the American, but somewhere along the line there comes a recognition of an identity that does not lose itself in that struggle.

2007-12-05T21:37:00.000-08:00

Things are seldom what they seem.

Like most people, I make snap judgments about people based on their surface behavior. I bark at the woman who takes my spot at the gas station. I shake my head at the parent that appears to be neglecting their child at the store. I listen to people say things about family, friends, co-workers, bosses, neighbors, etc. and decide I know enough about these people to form an intelligent opinion. When in reality, I don't know enough, I don't have all the facts, I may very well be wrong in my opinion.

We tend to forget that people are the sum of their life experiences, that people can be annoying and endearing, lazy and hard working, polite and rude all in one body. We seldom can be defined by one action or one series of actions. Sure, people have distinct personalities, they display repetitive behaviors, but these things are not necessarily who they are.

The clerk that does not fawn over you like you are the greatest person she has ever met when you buy your soda and candy bar might not even be responding to you. She may be sad and distracted because her child is at home sick and she can't be there to take care of him. She might have just been cussed at by the last three customers and is simply wanting to avoid #4. She might be attracted to you, but is painfully shy. She might also be a rude, arrogant person. The point is, give people the benefit of the doubt. Also, it is not all about you.

2007-12-04T00:26:00.000-08:00

All restrictions lifted.

Sounds like I was just let out of "time-out". In actuality, that was what my surgeon told me today. She said that since she was certain that she removed all the offending disc, and since I appear to feel absolutely, positively no pain, that I can resume my old life style. Ok, not quite my old life style. I realized after I left her office that I will have to adjust how I do things if I want to see her again only in the supermarket, theater, etc. I have always been the "big guy", the guy everyone turns to when they need to move or they need some heavy work done. I also am the guy that gets frustrated waiting for help moving things and simply muscles through. No more! I have to be smart, lift properly, wait for help, allow others (preferably younger "big guys") to do some of the work. This will be especially trying when I am on a job site, wanting to get started and there is some over-sized file cabinet that MUST be moved before we can start. I will fight the urge to just shove it out of the way myself. I think I can adjust. I also have to begin the stretching and strengthening exercises that Dr. Mina gave me. I need to make this as much a part of my daily routine as brushing my teeth. Problem is, brushing my teeth never takes 45 minutes, so I will have to work on it.

I am so blessed and can not stop praising Him for his help in all things disc related.

2007-12-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

So much happens on the way to blogging!

I have intended to, planned to, decided to, etc, blog for days now. Lately, I have felt that my life was like a journey down a river. Sometimes, I have enjoyed floating carelessly in a sturdy paddle boat on a slow meandering river, being lulled into a peaceful state of mind. Other times, I have been desperately clinging to a thin piece of cardboard as I hurtle down a Class 6 white water rapids, certain that things couldn't get worse, only to find that they can! I know that sounds overly dramatic, but at times, it fairly describes what is occurring in my life. I am learning to be content in both situations and the myriad of experiences that fall between the two extremes. Often, I have wanted to stop and blog about things, good, bad and indifferent, but I don't. I come to this page, sign in and stop, wondering, "Do you really want to hear this?" "What should I say?" "Forget it, I will do this tomorrow." Thus, no new entries. Maybe I will write again soon.

2007-11-11T23:17:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, finally a great work weekend!

How do I express my immense satisfaction at how this past weekend's work went? I had two potentially difficult jobs to do. Jobs where I would have to rely one of my helpers to run the buffer because I have not been released by Dr. Mina to do work. Adding to my possible migraine was concern about whether I would have sufficient numbers of workers to accomplish the tasks and whether those workers would be up to the job, physically and mentally.

Not only did I not run into the problems I envisioned, the jobs ran smoother than any had in a long time. The guys worked together like cogs in a well-oiled machine. My #1 man ran the buffer and basically, the job, like it was second nature to him. Oh, and the floors turned out fabulous.

2007-11-10T23:59:00.000-08:00

Irony is life's gift to the arrogant!

A friend of mine related this story recently and I had to post it here. He owns a small business and has a valued employee who is very sure of himself. His opinions are golden. Wrong is a word from a foreign language to him. My friend mentioned that he had hired a guy to help them on one job. His employee said that he was not happy about the hiring. He had seen the guy before, had brief, meaningless small talk with him and had concluded that there was something wrong with him, some character flaw, something that he knew would make him not be able to work with the new guy. This employee mentioned his displeasure with this one time addition on a number of occasions, not being able to point out a specific problem, but reiterating that he KNEW that this new guy was going to say or do something on the job that would cause him to get upset and it would not be a good thing. My friend held firm to his decision feeling that his own assessment of the new employee, based on observing him working elsewhere and comments by others who worked around him were more valid than a nebulous 'gut-feeling' The day came for the job and my friend started the day with a small sense of impending doom, fearing a clash of personalities. His fears were unwarranted. The new guy worked well with the 'knowing' employee and the rest of the crew. They all got along seemingly well, even to the point of the valued employee talking about using the new guy on another job, bigger and more important. My friend said the highlight of his day came as the crew sat around and chatted. The new guy mentioned that he had decided that the valued employee was not the friendly type and was a bit surly. He said that he just knew this from the few times they had briefly spoken, said he could tell things about people from just one or two meetings. He said he sometimes just knew that some folks were a certain way, by merely meeting them.
Can you say IRONY?

2007-11-09T23:52:00.000-08:00

The world would be a great place to live if we could just get rid of all the people!

I get so tired of people sometimes. Being a property manager of an apartment complex, esp. of a complex that is being remodeled and owing a small business which requires having helpers and clients leads to the inevitable frustration of dealing with people. I get tired of people straining to find ways to get over on you or get out their responsibilities. I am exhausted from dealing with arrogance, self-absorption, childish behavior, personality clashes, hypocrisy, and laziness. I can hardly keep my head up from the daily stupidity I see. And when I take a minute from condemning the entire human race, I have to look at one of the biggest frustrations in human form...ME. Just when I get going full steam ahead on a track of self righteousness, I get derailed because I have to see my own failings and I must stop to take the beam out of my own eye.

2007-11-08T23:19:00.000-08:00

Now that doesn't add up.

Take the bills for my regular physician add to them the charges I incurred from physical therapy, add the MRI bill and Dr. Mina's cost for my surgery and the amount that the anesthesiologist hit me with for his services during surgery and you would still be $10, 000.00 short of what it costs me to spend about 7 hours in the hospital. I received the bill for the hospital charges today. The total charge was $22, 504.50. That figure breaks down to a little over $2, 800.00 an hour or $46.00 a minute. No wonder many people don't get the health care they desperately need. I am blessed because God worked it out so I am receiving financial aid through the hospital's donor program. I actually only have to pay $1437.00. Of course, that brings me to another question, if I only have to pay $1437.00, shouldn't that be what they charge me, and not that heart-stopping figure?

I am reading David McCullough's John Adams. I am so glad I asked my daughter to let me read the book after here. I am learning loads of information about John Adams, the early days of our country and politics. One of the refreshing things I have gleaned from this book is the aspects of a great woman. Abigail Adams was a great woman. I want my daughters to emulate her. She was devoted to her husband, loved him without bounds, dreaded to be without him and felt it her duty to make sure he was all he could be, but my praise for her does not stop there, no I am more impressed that she was this way while simultaneously being intelligent, out-spoken, independent, industrious, creative, and eager to learn everything she could. My kind of woman!

2007-11-02T23:46:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day!
I received the surgeons official bill today. Yes, I know that that does not sound like the makings of even a fair day, and it gets even less likely to make one do handstands for joy. The bill was approximately $1000.00 more than the estimate. So how does this constitute a great day? The bill started with the eye-popping figure, but ended with a final balance owed of approximately $1600.00 less than I expected. I had forgotten that Dr. Mina's office manager had told me that they give a discount to cash paying patients. Now, I call this a fabulous discount. Now, you see one of the reasons that today was a great day.

The other reason that I am typing this with a smile on my face is that my 19 yr old college student daughter spent a few hours with her dad and we successfully experimented in the kitchen with a dish that I humbly suggest one of the restaurant chains like Ruby Tuesday should add to their menu. Ok, so maybe the whole restaurant-worthy fare is a bit of an overstatement, but it was good. This whole enjoyable afternoon and earlier evening fun with Laura, began as simply a desire of mine to play around in the kitchen, maybe make something tasty. I was thinking about a dish that was heavy with various squashes and chicken. As I contemplated cooking, I decided to see if Laura was busy. She had plans to go to a football game with her gentleman friend later in the evening, but said she would enjoy a little foray into culinary experimentation. I will skip to the actual dish, noting first that I have never been a huge fan of peppers of any kind, a few finely diced in a meal won't make me run away screaming, but they are not my first choice. We sauteed, in olive oil, some green, yellow, and orange peppers, added fresh garlic, two small slices of jalapeno pepper some roasted red peppers and mushrooms. Then we added a spicy wine based tomato sauce, lightly. We didn't want a heavy sauce, more of a base to help the veggies stick to the fusilli pasta. We added this mixture to the chopped chicken cooking in another sauce pan , and let it simmer. We served it over the fusilli and it was awesome. The fact that it was not a heavy sauce made the dish even better, because we were able to enjoy the individual tastes of the veggies and chicken, as well as the blending. What was amazing to me, was that my daughter had sliced the peppers in long slices, no dicing at all and I loved them, even picking a couple out of the pan as they sauteed and eating them.
I did discover a great need in my kitchen, cooking tools that actually work, esp. knives. Since I have been a fast food addict for so long, Wal-Mart knives are the fare in my kitchen and that resulted in Laura struggling to slice pepper, really, slicing peppers was difficult. So when the apartment complex here is finished remodeling and I move into the new office apartment, I am throwing myself a house-warming party, so remember, bring kitchen utensils!

2007-10-29T23:35:00.000-07:00

I can drive!!!

No, I am not referring to the fact that I know how to drive or that I have a license. Since my surgery, I have been under doctor's orders to not drive. I can tell I live in a community where driving is paramount, because if I lived in NYC or Chicago, the fact that I haven't driven for the past week would not register at all. But here in good ole, Greenville, SC, we drive everywhere, probably far too much and definitely too often for unnecessary trips and by ourselves. We need to learn to combine trips and car pool, you know, 'save the planet and all'. Anyways, I have not been happy with no driving. I dislike bothering other folks and asking for favors. Today, in my first follow-up visit to the surgeon's office, the restriction against driving was lifted with the exception of long trips.

Unfortunately, that was about the only restriction that was lifted. I still can't lift anything over 5lbs, can't bend at the waist(which none of us probably should do), no twisting at the waist(and I was going to enter a Chubby Checkers contest...jk) or raise my arms over my head. Looks like work will be out of the question for the next month. The most frustrating restriction is that I am still not allowed to sleep on my stomach. I always sleep on my stomach, but not for another month. I must look funny when I sleep, because in order to avoid rolling over onto my stomach in my sleep I have placed a bedspread rolled up in the middle of my bed and I have woken up on more than one occasion laying on my side, like I am spooning the bed spread. No, I don't need a woman!

2007-10-26T23:52:00.000-07:00

War, huh yeah, What's it good for?

That's the way Edwin Starr's anti-war song begins. The song decries war, protesting that war is never good, that it only causes pain and suffering. I can't say I completely agree. There are times when a nation needs to defend itself and this leads to war. I will agree that we, as humans, are far too eager to solve problems with our fists, guns, bombs, and any other tool of suffering we can conceive. Tonight I heard a song by the country duo, Big and Rich that memorialized a sad day in our military history in Vietnam: the ambush of the 173 Airborne division. As I listened to the song, I remarked to myself how many songs we have that honor war time events, our military, and wars in general. That thought was followed quickly by the sad realization of how unreal war seems to most Americans, esp. the current one. It is easier to blindly support anything related to our military or mindlessly protest anything war related. We are told that we can not shy away the killing of human beings, because that means we are unpatriotic and uncaring about the dangers facing our nation. We are also told we can not wish for success of our troops, or the final defeat of the terrorists because that means we condone killing of innocents and condone the attitude that might makes right. Both positions are wrong. We need to view war honestly and be less eager to kill, but more determined to fight for what is right.

2007-10-26T00:04:00.001-07:00

One week of recovering!

I made it. Pain removed, strength zapped, lessons on being less than independent being learned, all in all a good week.

2007-10-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

What a weakling!

I pushed a dust mop SLOWLY around one of my buildings last night. I wanted to get a feel for what shape I was in. I am a wuss! Ok, not really, but doing that little bit drained me. It is amazing to me how surgery can wipe you out.

I still have a little pain, mostly achy pain. Thank the Lord, the pain from before is completely gone. I can't explain clearly enough the joy I feel for this relief.

When I started posting about my pain and surgery, I had this grand idea that I would have a captivating series of posts about the medical journey from debilitating pain to complete recovery. Well, you see what I got instead is some whining about pain, some interesting observations and then boring posts like:"I have less pain today." Oh well.

This experience and some reports of others who have had to address serious medical conditions without insurance has made me rethink my ideas about our health care system and whether a government run system is the right idea. I'm not yet ready to embrace Uncle Sam running my medical life, but I am firmly convinced that something has to change. I am going to be working on ideas about how to improve our health care system, doing some research and then trying to get others to work with me to see that we can try to change things. I know, us little guys, can't fight "city hall", but if we don't try, nothing is going to change and too many people are going to continue to fall through the cracks and in a country who's history is replete with examples of ingenuity and resourcefulness, that is not acceptable!

2007-10-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

Day Three - recovering

So should I continue to give y'all a daily report on my recovery? Well, there really isn't a whole lot to talk about on that front. The pain is getting less each day, and I'm immensely happy with the positive change.

I've walked around the complex a few times since getting back from surgery. It's kind of funny watching, because I walk so gingerly and slowly, someone said they thought I was still under the influence of the pain medication. These past two days have been great for slow strolls. It has been warm with a soft breeze. Tomorrow, I'll get my first trip off the property. My friend is going to pick me up and take me to church.

If y'all are not nodding off yet, I applaud your stamina in the face of boring conversation. Maybe the rest of my posts will be more stimulating.

2007-10-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

Day Two-recovering.

Dr. Mina warned me that I might still have pain in my right leg and might even have pain in the left. The Doc knows her stuff! My right leg is almost without pain, but the left leg felt left out over my attention my right leg received, so it decided to join the party. I know now without a doubt that work would have been out of the question if my legs had decided to be a duet in pain. I won't complain about this pain today, because overall I am feeling better than I have in over 6 months, and being able to sit down is a blessing. My recliner felt neglected and has welcomed me back with open arms.

It's good to have friends. Many of the people in my life have been jumping at the chance to give me a hand. I'm truly blessed to have friends.

2007-10-18T21:55:00.000-07:00

Pain, a thing of the past!

Ok, so my pain is not completely gone. I even have some new pain, but the exhilarating feeling I experienced as I was wheeled out of the hospital, SITTING DOWN, rode home, SITTING DOWN, and while I type this post SITTING in my recliner, is indescribable. As you may have noticed, sitting was the position where the pain was most intense.

This was an interesting experience. As I lay on the gurney in Pre-Op. I realized that my biggest fear was fear of the unknown. Once I realized that, everything was less scary. I even got to enjoy ease dropping on a couple of nurses discussing the pros and cons of Red Lobster's 'Shrimp Night' My conclusion? I think I'll go to Texas Steakhouse.

When the nurse was wheeling me into the operating room, she warned me that the room would be cold, bright and filled with a good size group of people. The room was cold, bright and had one other person in it. I told her that I was disappointed, because I was really looking forward to being a star. :)

One minute I am inhaling "oxygen", the next, I am groggily waking up in a room, not so bright, not so cold and full of people. It was disconcerting to realize that surgery was over and I didn't remember a thing. I knew this is what was going to happen, but it still was disconcerting.

It would not be an episode in my life I didn't make life a bit more difficult. I spent little over an hour in recovery and was feeling fairly good. The nurse checked my blood pressure one more time, giving me a thumbs up and then gave me some privacy to get dressed. I stood up and started dressing, but began to feel light headed and nauseous, so I grabbed hold of the bed. The next thing I remember is thinking, "Why does that nurse look so tall, and why are all these other nurses in here asking me if I hit my head. Apparently, I passed out, and fell to the floor, making a good deal of noise by kicking a tray around. I missed making a shelf pattern on the side of my head. My blood pressure had dropped significantly low and there was concern that I might need to be admitted, but another half an hour with some water and grape juice and I was as good as new.

Dr. Mina found something that wasn't supposed to be in my spine, but that had served to prevent me from experiencing even more pain. I mentioned in an earlier post that Dr. Mina was surprised that I did not have the same pain in my left leg that I was experiencing in my right. During the surgery, she discovered a bone spur that was blocking the herniated part of the disc from pinching the nerve that runs down my left leg. God is good. He knows that if I had the same intense pain in my left leg, I would not have been able to work.

Well, that's enough for now. I thank God and Dr. Mina for the relief.

2007-10-17T22:47:00.000-07:00

T-minus 1o hrs, 12 minutes!

My surgery has been pushed back 2 hours, so I get to sleep in a little later. I will be going under the knife around dinner time...hmmm, why do I keep thinking about turkeys and Thanksgiving?

I am so ready for the surgery, well at least for the promised relief. I haven't been as nervous as I expected. I think two things have worked to reduce my fear. One is the seemingly vast numbers of folks going under the knife and coming out satisfied with the results. If this we 1907, I might be a tad more worried, but it seems that surgery has become common at the same time as it has become less invasive. The other reason for my reduced fear is that I am confident that surgery is what God wants and either He will see me through it successfully or He has other plans and He will make it work out for my best.

My employees were ruthless today as we worked to day. One of them asked me on the way to the job, "Eric, if you knew you had 24hrs to live, what would you do?" I said I didn't know. Then he asked, knowing that there were 19 hrs until the surgery is supposed to happen, " What if you had 19 hrs to live, what then?" The night followed the same theme, with them teasing me about dying, but I got a good one in. I asked one of them if he felt like getting me some supplies and he, jokingly said, "No." I replied, " Come on now, is that any way to treat someone with only 19 hrs left to live?"

Well, here goes. I will check back after Doc Mina puts me back together.

2007-10-14T23:01:00.000-07:00

Just a thought

With just three days left, it has occurred to me that all I have been talking about is my surgery, like nothing else is going on. I guess I could be an anchor for one of the 24 hr cable news channels, except for the fact that I like to think.

I have been having a discussion with a woman who is from Europe, but is currently going to school in Canada. We have been discussing Congress's recent decision to pass a non-binding resolution to label what the Ottoman Empire did the Armenians in WW1 genocide. What I have found is that it appears to be ok to call out the US for any failings on our part, but not ok to mention when someone else is wrong, or at least it is not ok for us to do it. Now don't get me wrong. I know my country has done some awful things and I readily acknowledge them, but is it necessary to bring up our failings every time we mention a wrong committed by someone else. I mean the genocide of the Armenians is a significant evil.

2007-10-13T23:25:00.000-07:00

Great news!!

I am ecstatic today. I mentioned in an earlier post that a friend offered to loan me the $2000.00 down payment required by the surgeon in order for me to have my surgery. Today, he informed me that he was not loaning me the money...he was giving it to me. What a generous gift! I could not thank him enough. Yesterday, at my pre-assessment visit, Dr. Mina's office gave me the estimated bill for her part of my surgery: $4600.00. Now I will only have to pay approx. $2600.00. What a relief. God is definitely good.

With 4 days left, I have a few things to do to prepare to be inactive for about a week. I have a pile of laundry the size of a large dog, because I am waiting until Wednesday to do laundry, so I have enough clean clothes to last until I can carry a basket of clothes to the laundry room.

My fear or nervousness about the surgery has diminished, I think in part to my belief that this is what God wants and my trying to convince the irrational part of my mind that it should listen to the rational side. I am certain, I will be nervous when I am sitting in the hospital waiting, but I am sooo ready to have relief from this pain.

2007-10-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

5 days

So I am a bit disappointed, my pre-screening for surgery was far less scary than I expected. I only had blood work and a urine sample, so no big deal there, and the anesthesiologist sounded like a 3rd shift convenience store clerk: bored and wanting to get back to his nachos and Us magazine. Now, I'm not saying that the anesthesiologist left me and went on a junk food binge. Actually, I think he was headed back into surgery to knock out another patient, which I think might be more interesting than asking the same questions that he asks probably 20 times a day and giving the same instructions that he could probably recite in his sleep. I did get a toy with my happy meal...I mean my pre-screening. I have a plastic devise that I am supposed to suck air into about 1 x an hour after surgery to reduce my risk of developing pneumonia. I did not know that this was a possibility, but the nurse explained that patients, esp. smokers, often do not breath deeply after surgery and this can lead to pneumonia. I learned something new today.
My surgery is scheduled for 10:10am on Thursday, so I have to be at the hospital at 8:10am. The surgery itself should take 45 minutes and I could conceivably be home shortly after lunch time which sounds good.
My mother surprised me with a care package today. She sent me a box of Cortland apples. I have not found Cortland apples around here and she knows they are my favorite apples, so she wanted to do something special for me since she can't be here for my surgery. Don't I have just the greatest mother!! 44yrs old, but still getting goodies from Mom!!!!

2007-10-11T01:18:00.000-07:00

God is good.

I received some great news today. St. Francis, the hospital where I will be having my surgery, accepted my application for financial aid. I will be required to pay $1,437.00 over a 1 year period for the hospital expenses. Anything above that amount, the hospital will cover through their sponsorship program. This is absolutely a blessing because I am certain $1,437.00 will not be the final number on my bill from St. Francis. The icing on the cake is that I will be able to make payments on the $1,437.00 for one year. I almost forgot...this deal includes any future hospital costs for the next year, like follow-up visits, etc. So I have the initial surgeon cost covered with a loan, the hospital is taken care of, payment plan and financial aid. The only thing left to cover is the anesthesiologist.

This whole experience is making me evaluate health care reform. The money that I have spent, am spending , still owe or will owe is staggering. Let's itemize to get a better view:
1). Regular Physician costs: Appx. $500.00 paid
2). Physical therapist (for repairing ripped ham string and first hint of disc trouble): $200.00 paid, $550.00 owed.
3). Medications: Approx. $100.00
4). Orthopedist: $305.00 paid
5). MRI: $100.00 paid, approx. $400.00 owed.
6). Surgeon-initial visit: $225.00 paid ( from a short loan) $225.00 owed.
7). Surgeon's charge for surgery: $2000.00paid (from 10 month loan) , ? owed
8). Hospital charges for surgery: $1,437.00 owed.
9). Anesthesiologist charges: ?
WOW!!
Reading that list almost makes me forget my physical pain...ALMOST!

7 more days!

2007-10-09T12:52:00.000-07:00

9 Days to go

I ended my last entry with the confidence that God was going to provide the $2000.00 I need to give Dr. Mina's office as a down payment and you know what? I was right. Today, a friend loaned me the money with a liberal payment plan, so I am now cleared to be sliced and diced. Well, I am clear to be poked, prodded and given a cup to fill for the lab, so the hospital can be certain that I am fit to be dissected. Friday I go to the hospital for my pre-screening. Once, I have a clean bill of health and have been thoroughly freaked out by all the necessary warnings about anesthesia and surgery, I will be ready to be fixed. Wait, I don't like the way that sounds, I do not need to be fixed, Fido might need that, but not me.

I am making all sorts of plans for my recovery time. Plans for work, plans for how I will function in general with limited mobility and great caution. The funny thing is, I am making plans with absolutely no point of reference. I have never had surgery before. I have been sick very seldom and it is very infrequent that I miss work for illness or injury. I am committed to following the doctor's orders in m recovery because I want this surgery to be my first and last and I want it to be a permanent success, but I am not big on doing nothing, esp. when it comes to work, so we will see how things go.

2007-10-06T00:04:00.000-07:00

The countdown begins!

Twelve days from today, I am going to willingly lay down and allow one stranger take away my personal control (and consciousness) and another stranger take a knife to my back. See what pain will do to a person. I told the office manager for the surgeons office today, that normally if a person told me that they were going to "cut me!" I would run away screaming...:0 I guess it helps that the stranger wielding the knife reminds me of my early childhood Sunday School teacher (she would never hurt me).

Actually the surgery is far less invasive than I expected. I was envisioning a big ole gash in my back, but instead, there will be two small incisions where they will insert tubes, so the surgeon can remove a small portion of the bone of my spine, so she can reach my herniated disc and remove the herniated part and any loose debris. The whole surgery should take less than an hour and I will be going home the same day. My surgeon was surprised that I was not experiencing the same pain in my left leg as I am on my right. She said the disc is ruptured on both sides, pressing against all the nerves. She described the disc as having a "blow-out", lovely image.

I am trying to keep my irrational fears of losing control of myself and of being cut in check. It does not help that the first possible danger to the surgery that Dr. Mina mentioned was death from the anesthesia. I know the risk is minute, but it adds fuel to my fear.

I am seriously angry with all those folks who have decided that not paying for the surgery that made their life better was the best way to demonstrate their gratefulness. The increase in the number of ungrateful patients is sharp which has led to Dr. Mina's office to start demanding more cash up front from us "no insurance" patients. I have to have $2000.00 next Friday when I go for my pre-screening. Can you guess how much of that I currently have? Let me give you a hint: lint is the most frequent occupant of my pants pocket and my wallet is merely a small photo album. I do not have a clue where that money is , but I am confident that God will provide it.

Surgery, here I come.

2007-10-04T21:31:00.000-07:00

So that's what's been causing all my pain!

Good disc

Bad Disc

These are just a few of the lovely photos that the orthopedist showed me as he cringed and announced that surgery would be needed, two different types actually: a partial laminotomy and a diskectomy. My pain is so persistent and intense that the thought allowing someone to slice me up is not as scary a thought. I have an appointment to talk to the surgeon Friday, let's see if I am still as eager for the knife afterwards,

2007-09-29T00:45:00.000-07:00

Now, I'm a supermodel...an MRI supermodel.

Ok, so I am not a model, but that was the line I used to make myself feel less nervous when I talked to the office manager at the imaging facility where I got my MRI today. I was not really nervous ,just a hair. I was a bit concerned that I might be claustrophobic. Turns out, I am, just a little. I had the advantage of being scanned in an open MRI machine, but when they started moving me into the machine and my big nose nearly touched the top, I felt a twinge of fear. It did not last long, but it was enough to confirm my dislike for small confined spaces.

The technician's last words to me before she left the room were: "Don't move, don't cough, don't clear your throat." So where do you think my mind wandered and drifted as dozed off a bit? I constantly was having images that compelled me to move, like to catch something falling on the floor or shaking someones hand. I did not move, but it was funny how the images of the need to move flooded mu head.

Now, that I am a MRI model, I have to wait until Wed. to find out the orthopedist's final decision on whether he needs to try out his new scalpel on me or not. I am not savoring the idea of surgery, but I am beyond ready to have permanent relief from this pain, so I say, "Bring it on!"
"Just, go easy on the pain, I am sensitive...lol"

2007-09-27T23:13:00.000-07:00

The Computer is a Scary Place.

I have been living with intense pain in my right leg for over 6 months. About a month ago, I finally set aside my natural male instincts and went to the doctor. Ripped fibers in my hamstring led to a sideways lean in my stance and walk, as well as putting my hips out of line and causing pain. Medication was no help, but 4 weeks of physical therapy straightened me out enough to give me back my old stride. Unfortunately pain remained behind and over the next few weeks intensified. Now it was off to the orthopedist, who is convinced that I have a herniated disc pinching the main nerve that runs down my right leg, has scheduled an MRI for me tomorrow and told me that if the MRI shows him what he thinks it will, I will need surgery. I type that last words with shaky hands because the idea of surgery, anesthesia, etc, scares me. Now, I did what every computer savvy person would do after a that kind of news... I scared myself even more by Googling "herniated discs". All the details, the horror stories, the possible problems made me want to close my eyes. Reading medical blogs, visiting medical sites all resulted in a bit of a queasy stomach. After I chilled out, I actually was glad I did the research. Being informed as to what is wrong with me and the various suggested treatments is interesting and helps me be a better informed patient. We will see what the MRI shows.

2007-09-15T01:14:00.000-07:00

Y'all come back and see me sometime, ya hear?

My opening statement is one of the most recognizable stereotypical statements associated with being a Southerner. Funny thing is I can't remember ever actually hearing anyone say it and I live in South Carolina. I guess it just goes to show that stereotypes are just that, generalized ideas about a group of people loosely based on reality. As I was a typical guy this evening, meaning I flipped through the channels constantly, I saw about a half dozen shows that were supposed to be based in the South or the subject matter was supposed to represent the South. While all the shows had different themes and even different genres, they all portrayed my fellow Rebs the same, and mostly in an unflattering manner. I began to get a bit perturbed by the depiction and felt that "Hollywood" was singling out me and my neighbors, but I then I remembered we get stereotypes of all regions, ethnicities, races, and sexes in the entertainment industry. What is sad is that Americans have become so used to the stereotypes, they start using them in connection with everyone they meet of that group. This of course leads to all kinds of problems, racism, sexism, etc. Here's a novel idea, when you meet someone, see someone, read something about someone, forget that they are a member of some sub-set of humanity, actually a member of a few sub-sets and look at them, treat them as the individual human that they are and let their actions and words define them, not some nebulous stereotype. Deal?

Alrighty then, y'all come back, ya hear?

2007-09-11T22:58:00.000-07:00

Finally He Posts Again

I find it funny that many people who blog infrequently, like me, find it necessary to start a post after an extended time with some kind of explanation for their absence. What ratchets up the humor in my case is that I have no regular readers, and only a few who even stop by occasionally, so I guess I am really only excusing myself to myself. Talk about dumb.

I have mentioned previously a blog that I enjoy reading, 4thavenueblues.blogspot.com. Today, Andrew had a post where a friend had "interviewed" him with 5 interesting questions. I loved it. I think that it was a great way of getting to know him, esp. areas that he might not think to talk about . A few years ago, I met a young lady in GA while working there and we became friends with an eye towards dating. For about a month before our first date, we e-mailed each other questions, unique questions, that helped us get to know each other better. Questions like, "If you could have a dinner party and invite 5 guests, living or dead, who would you invite and why?" Or "What am I carrying around in my trunk?" That last one was very revealing. When we had our first date, there was no awkwardness, or strained conversation. We knew each other better than we thought. In other forums later, we both, independently stated that that had been the best date we had ever gone on.

I look forward to being interviewed and if any of you(if there are actually, any of you) who would like to interview me, feel free to do so.

2007-07-23T22:49:00.000-07:00

You Can't Have It Both Ways

"Why does God allow people to hurt each other? Why does God allow rape, murder, war, etc."
" I don't believe in a God that tells me what to do! I don't want a God with rules for how to live my life."

2007-07-11T23:11:00.000-07:00

No rants today

There is so much that I hear on the news, or read in magazines, or glean from blogs that boils my blood and leads me to start ranting, but not today. I clicked the little link at the top of most of the blogs that says, "next blog" a few weeks back and after sorting through numerous blogs written in languages I sadly do not understand, I came across a very interesting one. The blog is 4thavenueblues,blogspot.com The writer, Andrew, struggles with mental issues, is a recovering alcoholic and has been homeless. The writer is also a brilliant writer, honest in his writing, and bares his soul for us to see. I have been fascinated by the lessons I learn reading of his daily struggles, his triumphs, his questions, and the people who love him. Today, my heart soared as I read about a friend of his getting a second chance with an estranged daughter and granddaughter, about a new neighbor who has quickly, seemlessly and as if ordained by God, become a source of comfort, encouragement and friendship, and about Andrew realizing that while the future he once might have had is no more, he still has a future ripe with wonderous possibilities.

My musing about Andrew's life got me contemplating my own, and deciding it is time to stop looking at all the mistakes, all the failures and the mountain I see when I contemplate becoming what I want and believe I should be, and start looking around me and remembering that life is good. Remebering also that God is good and with Him, all things are possible.

2007-07-05T02:08:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence Day

I went through this day with ease today. No regularly scheduled work, slept in late, ate some good food, watched one of my tenant families set off a small fireworks display, and thought little about the significance of this day. As I sit here on the commuter, it dawned on me that I really really didn't think about the fact that I am free, that I live in a country that is based on the freedom of the people. I was a bit ashamed. I, like so many of my fellow countrymen and women, enjoy the rewards of a free society, we live our everyday lives they way we do because of the fact that we live in a free nation, yet the fact we are free rarely comes to the forefront of our minds.

We hear much today about how we actually aren't free that our rights are being stripped from us. Funny side note, both sides of the political spectrum rail against the daily dwindling of our freedoms. DO I think that our God-given rights are being infringed upon, yes. DO I agree with some who shout in hysteria that we are no longer free, ABSOLUTELY NOT! The very fact that they can rail demonstrates that we are still free.

So I agree that some of our freedoms and rights are being infringed upon, now what. Get involved. VOTE, now there is a strange concept to many in this country. Leaders slowly chip away at freedoms because the people are not telling them to stop. But we need to do more than vote. Talk to those you elect, and talk to those who get elected in spite of your vote. The old saying, "The squeeky wheel gets grease." is true. When it comes to our leaders they will do what they want until they know that there is enough of the public actively involved to make them fear for their jobs.

One final thought about this wonderful country. I hear every day people pointing out the flaws of this country, past, present and perhaps future. It seems to have become an obsession to some. I, for one, am glad to hear the flaws. As a true student of history, I feel it is vital to the continued success of a nation for its citizens to continually examine the actions and history of the nation, warts and all. We will only right the wrongs, or avoid similar wrongs if we know what we have done wrong and what we have done right. One other thing, it seems that we are one of the few countries that does this constantly. Good for us.

America, happy birthday, may we see many more, and may we see our country stay true to what is right!

2007-07-03T00:46:00.001-07:00

Names of Cities can be interesting.

A few days ago, a couple of friends and I were commenting on interesting city names. Pumpkintown, Moonville, and Possum Kingdom, all towns near here, were favorites. Apparently we also have some towns who's founding fathers were creatively challenged, content with such names as: Ninety-six, Nine Mile and Six Mile.

2007-06-23T23:03:00.000-07:00

FOOD!

Today was a long, tiring, hard day of stripping and waxing floors, so when I got home, I plopped down in my comfortable recliner and turned on the tube while I waited for my dinner to be delivered to me from an overpriced, but tasty steak delivery place. I surfed the channels until I ended up on the Food Network, Tivo would be well aquainted with this channel if I owned it. This evening, one of the regular hosts of a popular show was recounting her recent visit to England and France. It was an enjoyable diversion. The woman is a deep-fried southern woman, but I appreciated her respect for the culture and cuisine of her two host countries. It was funny to hear her speech, dripping with drawl in contrast to the distinct accents of the folks she interacted with. Paula, the Food Network host that to whom I am referring, spent a lot of time on the cuisine and the speciality food shops she visited. Her trip featured many. Now, I know that this was a show on the Food Network, so food was paramount, but I was struck by the fact that food never figured into my ideas of things I would focus on if I were ever to visit those two amazing countries. I am a history buff, so when I think of visiting Europe, I think in terms of history, food is only thought of in terms of what do I need to eat, not what food is here to amaze and delight me. After seeing this show, I plan on altering all my vacation plans to include some exploration of the food delicacies the places I visit have to offer. Right now, I want to take a cheese tasting trip...ANYWHERE. I love cheese.

Bon Appétit

2007-06-16T22:14:00.001-07:00

Sometimes you just need to scream!!!

I have felt that way often over the last few months. My employees, my partner, my clients, my tenants, my life... ok, I guess you get the point. Life is not fun sometimes, in fact, there have been many times of late that I contemplated moving to the Ozarks and becoming a coon dog. I mean, a coon dog has a pretty good life. I would get free meals, a decent place to live. I'd have a special status in the local community, a place of honor among those men who consider shooting black rim- eyed varmints stuck up a tree a sport. What price would I have to pay for all this? Run around chasing the bandits of the woods until I run them up a tree. If I were a coon dog, that would not even be work, it would be fun!

Of course, then I come to my senses and say, "You'll never be able to be a coon dog, they have four legs and aren't fat." So I sit back and put my trials in perspective. It's then I realize that I have a good life and that life, while it is fun often, is also about trials, frustrations, and pain. They go together, fun and frustration. I also realize that some of the things that drive me to the brink of a primal scream are my fault, or at least partially my fault. I allow things to build to a breaking point, or my actions or inaction, leads others to feel that their behavior, the mind-numbingly frustrating behavior is just peachy-keen. If I want the behavior that sends my brain into overload to stop, I have to make it stop. I also realize that I am guilty of somethings that drive others to the brink and I need to be aware of that and stop that as well.

One final thought fills my head; God is in control of my life and He has a reason for what is happening to me. I need to stop beating my head against the bricks hoping that I won't feel any pain and ask Him what He wants or how He wants me to deal with the situations that I face. How can what I am experiencing and how can how I respond to what I am facing bring glory to Him.

Ok, so I don't need to scream anymore

(pssst. being a coon dog would still be sweet =) )

2007-06-15T01:05:00.000-07:00

WORDS HAVE MEANINGS.
Yes, I know that sounds so lame, of course words have meanings, so why start a post with a lame statement? I start this post with that statement because so many people want to use words to scare people into following their political or ideological position. They want to use words incorrectly, disregard what a word actually means just like they disregard the facts.
Let me give you an example of what I am rambling about: AMNESTY. Do you know what it means? Here are a few definitions from various sources:
1). A general pardon granted by a government, especially for political offenses. (The American Heritage dictionary)
2). The act or an instance of forgiving (Houghton Mifflin Thesaurus)
3). In criminal law, a sovereign act of oblivion or forgetfulness (from Greek amnestia, "forgetfulness") granted by a government, especially to a group of persons who are guilty of (usually political) crimes in the past. It is often conditional upon the group's return to obedience and duty within a prescribed period. (Britantica Concise Encyclopedia)
4). The pardon of individuals or categories of people for the violation of law. (U.S. History Encyclopedia)
5). In law, exemption from prosecution for criminal action. (Columbia Encyclopedia)
6). The action of a government by which all persons or certain groups of persons who have committed a criminal offense...are granted immunity from prosecution. (Thomson Gale Law Encyclopedia)
I have used multiple definitions so one could not accuse me of cherry picking the definition. There is one other word that must be defined in connection to amnesty and that is the word 'pardon' Here is what the American Heritage dictionary say 'pardon' means:

To release (a person) from punishment; exempt from penalty: a convicted criminal who was pardoned by the governor.
To let (an offense) pass without punishment

Now that we are clear on the meaning, let me be concise: amnesty means someone is not punished for a criminal activity, they pay no penalty imposed by the government.
I am hearing the word 'amnesty' used in abundance in connection to the immigration bill currently before the US Senate. The problem I see is that the current bill imposes a penalty to anyone currently living in our awesome country illegally today. It also sets up strict guidelines someone here illegally has to follow in order to avoid even more penalties. Yet, I keep hearing that this bill grants amnesty to the 'horrible leaches on our society" that we call illegal immigrants. What the bill proposes, what most of those who support this bill or one very similar is that breaking the immigration law be punished. Both the fellow that walks across our border with no legal right to be here and the native Americans that lure these folks by the hiring them. This bill is many things, and proposes many aspects to the solution for illegal immigration. What it does not offer is amnesty.
So why do some of the very people who have read this bill and know what is proposes keep yelling "Amnesty" They do it to incite decent, law abiding citizens. They scare, threaten, mislead, misquote, and just plain lie.
I welcome honest debate about the flaws and potential failures of this bill, but I say, honest debate. Stop hollaring "Amnesty" This is not amnesty!

2007-06-14T00:25:00.000-07:00

I started to post something here yesterday. I sat staring at the empty box where my profound, witty, insightful, intellectual post was supposed to be rapidly filling up the blank space. All I saw was white, no words, not wit, no insight. I closed the blog and went to bed. I was disappointed at first, then I realized, perhaps, I am not supposed to be witty, insightful, intellectual all the time. Ok, I am not witty, insightful, or intellectual all the time, but I wanted to give that impression. I did not want, actually still do not want a blog crammed with nonsense about the trivial aspects of my life. What I wanted was to be great, to appear great, to be recognized as some really awesome person. Now talk about pride AND self-delusion...lol. Last night gave me a harsh look at a side of me that I don't often see, a side I believe that is not reflective of my true and total personality, but it is a part none the less. I am glad I saw that and now I am glad that I am working on another of the flaws in my person. My daughter makes lists, lots of lists; lists of book she wants to read over vacation, lists of homework assignments and her plan for getting them all done, lists of chores and fun she plans to do on Saturday. I sometimes think she has too many lists, but I think I need to take a cue from her and draw up a few lists myself, ones that deal with areas in my life where I need to be better, areas in my life where God is not glorified.

Ok, I am now taking a rabbit trail, straying slightly from my main point, but this is a good rabbit trail...glorifying God. I always think about glorifying God in connection to either doing things overtly spiritual, like worshiping Him, praying, reading my Bible, witnessing, or to not sinning, not giving in to besetting sins, not being an example of how not to keep the Ten Commandments. Now, before I go on, I am aware that anytime we fall short of the glory of God, we are sinning, but I want to talk about things I do, or we do that do not bring glory to God, and in fact often detract from His glory, but that we don't zoom in on as SIN.
1). I am fat, not slightly overweight, not pleasing plump, not big boned, just plain, nasty fat. Ok, I wear it well, or so I have been told, but the fact remains, I AM FAT. I have thought that I need to lose weight, it would be good for my health, I would have more energy, I could wear cooler clothes, I would be able to do more activities, that I would make my daughters proud of me. The one thing I have never thought about, never considered until just the other day, is that I am not bringing glory to God because I am fat. Now, hear me out. Being skinny, or pretty, or handsome is not what a person needs to be to bring glory to God. God made us all different and His idea of beauty is far from ours. I believe even "ugly" people are beautiful to God. What I am taking about is that I made myself FAT, I am causing harm to His creation. I am saying to those around me that not only do I not care about the wonderful creation that God made, but that God can not do anything to help me bring His temple back to its healthy form. By remaining fat, I am not bringing glory to God.
2). I am in debt, not enough to cause a country to go bankrupt, but in debt. What that means is that I owe people(businesses) money. People either loaned me money, credit cards, items purchased on credit, etc. with the idea that would honor that debt and pay them back or they provided services that I agreed to pay for. I have not, or have not completely. Now, yes, there have been difficulties in my life that caused me financial setbacks, and there have been attempts or are on-going attempts to pay folks back, but I am still in debt. Now, some would say that owing a business money is not a big thing, that businesses expect losses, that they right it off, don't worry about it. I have been off and on working toward reducing my debt, but the reasons again were not right. I want to be able to buy things when I need them, I don't want to keep getting calls from bill collectors, I want to silence my critics who make negative statements about my money skills. These may all be good motivations, but I am a child of God. It is my duty to bring glory to Him and my financial situation is not doing that, in fact, it is really detracting from that. I am basically saying that either God does not care if I honor my obligations, or that He is unable to help me clear up these debts. By staying in debt, I am not bringing glory to God
I could go on and list a few more, but I think you get my point. I and by extension, we need to remember that everything we do is connected to bringing glory to God or not. I often lose sight of that fact which is why I do some of the really dumb things I do. I can't fix this, God can, and so I have started to ask Him to show me all the areas where I am falling short and asking Him to help me change them.
Want to join me? Just ask Him to show you Him and to show you you. You won't like what you see, but if you truly are one of His children and you truly want to bring glory to Him, you will do this. Let's help each other in this. Comment on this post with your struggles, your questions and join together in a choir that fills the heavens with glory to our awesome God.

2007-04-19T00:20:00.000-07:00

The recent tragedy at Virginia Tech has raised a multitude of questions, observations and fears. I don't want to dwell on the myriad of things that are being hashed and rehashed by the "talking heads". I want to look at the man responsible for the death and devestation, Mr. Cho. I briefly listened to his rantings that he sent to NBC and was struck by the fact that what he was really describing is something that is a problem with America today: self-absorbtion. While he blasted the rich and the privileged ( and lord knows they often deserve it), what he was saying was "Look at me! I am important! The world should revolve around me!" I don't buy the stories told by his roommates and suitemates that they were great friends who always tried t0 engage him and were positive. Come on, one of his roommates said Cho told him he had an imaginary supermodel girlfriend who had a pet name for him. You want me to believe that he didn't get a little razzing? But the fact that he propbably was not on the top ten list of the most popular guys in school does not accountfor his rampage. He felt left out. He was not experiencing what he felt he deserved and so he lashed out. He was extreme, but that is what our culture teaches today. You are the most important person in the world and everyone owes you. Sorry, that is not true and the sooner we acceptthat, the sooner our country will be healthier as a nation.

2007-03-14T00:38:00.000-07:00

Downtown; what do you see in your mind's eye when I say that word? I live in a small city, Greenville, SC. We are a growing city and one that is transforming itself from a quiet little southern town into a modern, sophisticated small market city.
I remember when "downtown" brought images of empty storefronts, drunks sleeping and urinating on the sidewalks, troubled teens cruising main street looking for some kind of trouble to get into.
Today, "downtown" is vibrant with shoppes, restaurants, art galleries, upscale condos, the hustle and bustle of people trying to be a part of the "scene" that is "downtown". I like many aspects of what has happened to downtown.
I was downtown tonight, working. I was not happy with the fact that I could not find parking, of course, I actually could have found parking, if I had been willing to pay $5.00 for about an hour's worth of work.
As I circled the blocks surrounding the building I was working in, I had an opportunity to make some interesting, ironic, funny, or just mundane observations:
1). The most recent controversy from City Council has been a smoking ban in bars and restaurants in the city, and Even outside in the immediate vicinity of the bar or restaurant. This ban was recently ruled unconstitutional. I bring this up to mention what I find to be ironic or funny. As I drove down Main st. I spotted a cigar store (funny by itself in light of the ban), and then 2 doors down a store with a banner that read, "Quit smoking classes every Monday"
2). I love "people-watching" and today was no exception. The people who were strolling, meandering, power walking, and even jogging downtown ran the gambit from new age hippies, to aging sports fans, from hip young professional couples to young couples desperately trying to look hip, from rebellious outsider teens and twenty-somethings,to straight laced conformists.
3). Speaking of jogging, what is the deal with these folks who jog in public, crowded places, esp. in areas where their jogging will be interrupted repeatedly by traffic lights and turning cars? I don't get it. I would think that jogging in these conditions would not be conducive to healthy exercise. Of course, it is probably conducive to drawing attention to one's self and getting props for being healthy.
All in all, my visit downtown was fun and I got paid. I need to do this more often, have fun and get paid for it, that is! :)

2007-03-01T23:40:00.000-08:00

As we enter the melee that is presidential election time, I am searching for people committed to FACTS, not misleading sound bites. I want to put together a brief review of all the candidates for President. We have groups that spend time and money influencing people's votes by means of issue driven, or party driven partial truths, misleading "facts" and actual lies. What the American people need is a real look at who is asking them to vote for them. If you are interested in helping me out, contact me. I don't care what party you are in, or what party you vote for. What I what is people who are willing ot look at the facts honestly and report them clearly.

2007-02-26T23:18:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I have not posted in over a year. What does that say about me?
Don't answer that question, I might not like your answer. Like many things in my life, this started out with gusto and then fizzed out. It is not like I suddenly stopped ranting, or ran out of opinions. I just stopped posting. I think I might try my hand at this again and see what happens.

So anything going on that warrents my ranting...hmm.. non-stop coverage of a dead, washed up model/actress and the leaches who wormed their way into her life. I am not going to waste my time ranting about the shear volume of scum that is her ex-boyfriend, lawyer/boyfriend and her "loving" mother, because that only feeds into what I am really steamed about. We are in the middle of two wars. We have a government in the throws of a political power struggle, with the lives our our young men and women in uniforms in the balance. The presidential election season is heating up. We have a couple of counties across the pond that are making threats or are being accused of making serious threats against us and our allies. What is the biggest story in 24hr cable news? Enough said!!

2005-09-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

I am certain that somewhere in the elegant halls of musics finest and Hollywoods elite, that a concert is being prepared. Something like, Concert for New Orleans, or Save the Gulf Coast from Becoming a Wet Land. while I aplaud their lofty intentions, I have an alternative suggestion. The gods of music and the matinee idols should hols a press conference and announce that instead of a concert they are all going to pool their vast resources and any donations that they recieve. With these funds they are going to rent a fleet of buses and helicopters and deliver as many people from New Orleans that they can. They will take this caravan to some cities further inland, safe from the devestation. Once they arrive there, they are going to rent some hotels, not hotel rooms, but entire hotels and put the refugees up in them for as long as it is necessary. Then they will take them to the local Wal-Marts and Targets and K-Marts and sponsor a clothing shopping spree for these poor survivors. They will also encourage the local restuarants and grocery stores to donate gift certificates and groceries so the refugees can continue to eat. If we roped the tians of professional sports, this could be an amazing thing. If the fans of these folks are not moved by the milk of human kindness or the desire to be just like their IDOLS, perhaps the stars could send them an authgraohed photo in appreciation.
Just an idea, what do y'all think?

2005-08-28T02:34:00.000-07:00

Did y'all know that a hurricane is coming? Well if you watched any of the 24 hr news channels, you would know it, of course, you wouldn't know how the war in Iraq or Afghanistan is going or that anything else is actually going on. I mean how long does it take to say that a bunch or water and wind is fixing to redesign the gulf coast?

2005-08-27T06:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, can someone explain something to me? At 5:30 this morning, there were a half dozen or so, senior citizens at Hardees. Why? Do older folks have to get up at unnatural hours of the day and congregate at fast food restaurants? Is that what I will have to look forward to , MANY YEARS from now...lol. Before you say anything. I was at Harde's because I had just finished working. Trust me, if my middle-aged body had been in bed anytime before the rooster started crowing, you would be looking in vain if you searched fast food restaurants at 5:30am.

Ok, on a more serious note, I want to thank God and my mother for the way I was raised. I was blessed to have been shielded from the lure of drugs and alcohol. Having very little contact with those things as a kid and especially as a teen made it all that much easier to avoid falling into substance abuse as an adult. For the last two days, I have been doing some floor work at a women's reap center. I had a chance to talk, or actually listen to some of the women there. Most are so grateful for the reap. One lady said that if Serenity Place was not there, she knew she would have been somewhere high and strung out. Another woman told us that she had been addicted to meth for 12 years. Most of the women were under the age of 30, one was turning 21 Saturday. Many of them expressed how they couldn't believe what they had done to their bodies. Now clean, and working on staying that way, they could see that what sober people worked hard to avoid, like caustic chemicals, they had lapped up like sweet ice cream.

Well, I am heading to the bed. Talk to y'all later.

2005-08-26T00:53:00.000-07:00

Discipline, now there is an interesting word. It has a variety of meanings, but the one that interests me is the one dealing with ability of an individual to consistently accomplish things. I have always been a person with ideas, plans, goals, hopes, dreams,..Ok, I think you get the idea. My problem has been implementing the ideas and sticking with them. My plans may be as simple as walking for exercise daily, but I tend to fall through on them consistently. Wait a minute, that means that I am disciplined in being undisciplined. That's not good...lol This is one of the areas that I am working on. I want the plans and ideas that I have that I know to be good things to succeed, which will require me staying the course. I struggle with the concept of letting go and letting God, because while I am certain that God can and will do anything He wants, I also know that He expects me to do what He wants, that I have to actually do it. I am the one who has to lace up the sneakers and walk out of the driveway and take that fitness walk, each day. So I am asking Him to make me understand and make me do it.

Cockroaches are really annoying. We are having issues with them at the complex where I live and work. Fortunately, the problem is not in my building. We had a couple of tenants that felt that their apartments were better suited as landfill and sewage plants and so lived in accordance with those ideas. One of the results, and believe me there were a number of nasty and unpleasant results, was an infestation of roaches. I am now firmly convinced that the old adage that roaches will be one of the few survivors of a nuclear explosion. A friend in the building being claimed by the roach kingdom told me that he warmed something up in the microwave and as he was taking it out a roach crawled out of the microwave. Gross!! We have had the building sprayed professionally twice, bug bombed it twice and have lain all manner of roach pesticides. We are losing this war. I am contemplating requesting that we resort to the ultimate solution... just start charging them rent. Maybe they will get fed up with the noisy neighbors and move on their own.

Ok enough for lame jokes. I will talk to y'all later.

2005-08-25T01:41:00.000-07:00

I am now officially opposed to placards, sound bites and catch phrases. We are turning our country into a nation of non-thinkers who need the truth boiled down, finely sifted and pressed neatly into a thimble of information that doesn't make us think about anything beyond what celebrity is dating which other celebrity. We are faced today with such monumental issues as war(in Iraq, Afghanistan, and worldwide against terrorism); embryonic stem cell research and its underlying issue: when does life start; what direction will the law take as the highest court in the land is remade;and a host of other complex and thought requiring issues. Yet, we are bombarded with simple answers, hyped-up opinions, and partisan rantings. The American people need to demand that all this stop and that the FACTS be presented and we be allowed to thoughtfully consider each issue. Of course that will require the American public to actually care and be willing to do the difficult things, something that I fear we are ready to do.

Ok, so much for my soap box. Life is good. the monster ravaging my back seems to be losing his grip or interest in my back and not a moment too soon.

talk to y'all later.

2005-08-23T03:34:00.000-07:00

A Visit to the Park

I went to the Falls at Reedy River Park today for a brief visit, a sort of scouting mission to find a really enjoyable place to relax, read and most importantly, write. The city has done a terrific job on transforming a once neglected and dangerous park into a welcoming haven of outdoor fun. Grabbing my attention as soon as I left Main Street were the flowers. The variety and intensity of the colors and the amazing fragrance of all the flowers provide the perfect invitation to spend time near the Reedy.
The park was abuzz with people today, all ages and races, each with their own distinct design for their afternoon in nature. I had no sooner left the bustle of Main Street than I was treated to a beautiful sight, the melding of nature and humanity. A young woman was having her bridal photographs taken and it was an amazing sight. Her elegant white bridal gown highlighted her scarlet hair and light dusting of freckles. The photographer was scurrying around her, using the Park’s natural beauty to enliven his shots of the joyous bride.
As I continued on my search of the Park, I passed an older couple sitting close to each other, but engrossed in their individual pursuits of recording the glories of nature they were observing: him, with a pencil on paper and her, using a brush and paints. I was struck by the fact that these two people were able to enjoy each other while also enjoying their personal hobbies.
A handful of children were relishing the cool relief and wet fun of the Reedy as their parents waded nearby, careful not to allow themselves to get too wet as they kept watch on their young.
What would a sunny summer day in the park be without the presence of young lovers and today was no exception. There were a number of lovers enjoying the fresh air oblivious to their companion park visitors.
One couple had their enjoyment interrupted, when an older gentleman, overheated from mid-day cycling, decided to partake of the Reedy’s refreshing coolness. The source of their discomfort was observing a skinny; wrinkly man wearing a rather small Speedo, his creased, sunburned skin was far from an appealing addition to the splendor of nature they had been enjoying.
The mournful cries emanating from a young woman sitting on a rock wall grabbed my attention. She was pleading with someone, a lover, I assumed, but she alone occupied the wall. My puzzlement faded when I spied the cell phone. This clearly was not the way to experience the Park on such a glorious day.
Two men and their dogs played a game of fetch, including the river in their playing field; at least the dogs included the Reedy. The men had them on extending leashes, so the spotted black and grey Labrador and the young Golden Retriever could go places the men had no wish to follow, like the cold water of the Reedy.
My tour of the Park took me beyond the limits of the city’s revitalized areas, leaving behind the cultivation and manicuring. No more flowers and well trimmed hedges graced the path as I neared the Church Street overpass. Even the smell changed, what had been floral and sweet was now urban and unpleasant, but I trudged on determined to find just the right spot. A mother and her teenage son greeted me as I crossed under the overpass. The ball cap the son wore barely contained the wild black mane that topped his head. He spoke to someone on a walkie-talkie as I passed; someone that was clearly trying to catch up with them. A mere minute or two after leaving them, I ran into the other half of the walkie-talkie conversation, another teenage boy, this one with a more manageable mane.
Finally I found what I had been hunting, my oasis; a small backwash along the Reedy. It butts against Church Street and the park path continues on its way finding Cleveland Park. As the Reedy turns right and then left again , it creates a small backwash on the right of the path, complete with a large smooth slab of stone, ideal for sitting and reflecting, especially under the tree that shadows a good portion of the rock. From where I am sitting I can almost block out all signs of civilization, especially if I let the rushing current drown out the traffic noise of Church street and I avoid looking to my left, where a large iron pipe crosses the Reedy and a steel walking bridge joins it. It helps also to ignore the occasional hiker or cyclist that can be seen on the path that tops the steep bank across the Reedy from where I am sitting.
As I sit here and relax, I let my mind wander, let it drift to the lands in my story and I am ready to write. I shut out the troubles and cares of my daily life and focus on Angus, Delmarf, Wemael and company. This is a good place to tell their story.
Occasionally I notice people, like the trio of coed nature photographers, and I am brought back to reality, but that is ok too. People often provide the building blocks of characters. Of course that is a discussion for another time. I will leave you today with a funny bit of graffiti I saw under the Church Street Bridge. On one of the support pillars someone drew a rat wearing a gas mask.

2004-10-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

"I am still undecided." This is what a number of people have said in connection with the presidential race. Uhmm...there is less than a month until it will be time to actually vote for one of these guys or for someone else. The campaign has been going on now for over a year. During that year, the candidates have given speeches, held meetings, placed numerous advertisements in all the various media forms, and two debates between the major candidates have come and gone. WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?

I think that the folks that say they are still undecided are one of the following three things:
1). Decided voters that do not want to reveal their leanings
2). Voters(or possibly potential non-voters) that are not really listening or paying attention
3). too indecisive to actually cast a vote.

I believe that the majority of voters know who they will vote for and the rest won't make a difference.

2004-08-10T01:14:00.000-07:00

Isn't politics a lovely game? Let's look at the latest bewildering move made by a political party.
In the Land of Lincoln, the Republicans are in trouble. It seems that the man who won the Republican primary had a couple of skeletons in his closet, and made the mistake of getting divorced, which led those skeletons out into the bright light of the news cameras. Jack Ryan decided that he would withdraw from the race for U.S. Senate. He states that the party leadership was not supporting him, and thus was making a successful campaign untenable. I think that he might have had an uphill battle with the rank and file of the party of family values when he got around to explaining his visits to sex clubs.
Compounding the Republicans dilemma is the fact that the Democrats have a real winner in this race. Barak Obama is considered to be "a rising star in the Democratic party and in our country. At least that is what all the news media drilled into the public's mind during and after his wonderful Convention speech. From all I have seen, Mr. Obama is an attractive candidate for the Senate.
One other factor is driving the GOP to a feverish decision, the election is almost here. There is little time to contemplate the errors of their previous choice and to consider what is in the best interest of the people of the state of Illinois.
Hold on, Grand Old Party, help is on the way! Riding to the rescue from his HOME in Maryland is the former ambassador and erstwhile presidential candidate, Alan Keyes. A man with impeccible Republican credentials, a paragon of traditional family values, a defender of the unborn, Alan Keyes has much to offer the state of Illinois. He has a clearly defined difference from the Democrat's choice, Barak Obama. Mr. Keyes is an outsider! Yes, this potential representative of the people of Illinois can bring the unique perspective of a Marylander trying to solve the problems of the beleagured people of Illinois.
Ok, I hope that by now, it is clear that I have a problem with Alan Keyes running for the Senate from Illinois.. I am aware that Illinois only requires that the Senate candidate be a resident when he is elected, but I feel that it is wrong for someone to represent the people of a state that they really are not a part of, whether they do it at the behest of their national party with at least the outward appearance of seeking the good of their constituents, or whether they do it to further their political career, as seems to be the case with the Senator from New York, Hillary Clinton. Both are wrong. Illinois need to be represented by an Illinoian(I hope that is what they call themselves) If the Republican party was unable to scrounge up a viable candidate after the fiasco of Jack Ryan, they should do two things. One, examine the way they choose candidates more closely, maybe they will avoid the egg on their face next time. Two, concede that seat to the Democrats. Ok, maybe I have a third point, focus on helping this country more and helping the party less. To paraphrase a former President's call, "Ask not what your country can do for your party, ask what your party can do for your country.

2004-08-08T01:37:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, another love fest is almost here. The Democrats have just finished their love fest, now it is time for the Republicans. I find the conventions to be curious things. Large numbers of people gather together to praise a person and lift him or her onto a pedastal he or she really shouldn't be on. Some of the people present covet fiercely the limelight that they are forced to shine on someone that they personally believe is inferior. Of course there are always those smart folks that find a way to get at least a little of the attention on themselves, by wrangling one of the many speaking spots. Now these spots are supposed to be used to tell what a wonderful president the candidate will be and to shore up the main message that the party wishes to tell. While the speakers do what the party wants, they also insure that the pubic knows their name. And if they have really good speach writers, and at least passable speaking skills they look like the next best thing that party has to offer in the next state, or federal election. Then there is the matter of what message the party shows. Neither party highlights the aspects of their party that are the least palatable, they focus on the best they have to offer. They also repackage their agenda in the best light, stretching the truth most of the time. Of course, the opposing party is quick to point out this practice, while continuing to do the same thing. You know, everyone one is always complaining about the glut of lawyers in politics, I think that the most logical profession for a politician to start off in would be used car salesman. One of the best things about these love fests is the groupies. You know, the folks with the lights, cameras, microphones and studios. I hear news people talk about how it is their responsibility to be the voice of reason in this sea of political waste, but come Convention time, they seem to turn into 14 yr old boy band fans. Asking hard questions seems to take a back seat to critiqueing speaches and posturing whether a candidate's wife said a naughty thing. If they are not falling over themselves to fawn on the participants of the love fest, they act like the hard rock groupies who diss everything the boy bands do. I mean we either get news people who are swept up promoting, I mean reporting, the Convention, or we get news people trying to trash the Convention . How lucky we are. Just think, only 13 more weeks of the campaign.

2004-07-07T22:54:00.000-07:00

Hey, everybody, grab your helmets, shields and swords! Marriage is under attack! This seems to be the battle cry today across our country, esp. among Christians. I have a few things to say on this subject. Let me get these couple of things out of the way first, so y'all will know my basic positions. I believe homosexuality is a sin. I believe that it is a choice, maybe not a simple one like which shirt to wear to work today, but a choice none the less. I believe that marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman.
Having said all that, I have a few problems with this whole, "save marriage from the queers" movement. First, how is marriage under attack simply because another group of people want to be married? Before you go ballistic on me, I understand that allowing same-sex couples to marry changes the very definition of marriage. I am not in favor of allowing same-sex couples marry, but it is not the end of marriage and what really appalls me about the whole "defense of marriage" is that with a divorce rate of around 50% for the last few decades, it would appear that marriage has been under attack from opposite sex couples for quite some time, with little fanfare to save it. Maybe if Christians spent their time helping to shore up the "correct" married couples, marriage might be stronger and could withstand the introduction of homosexuals.
Second, I believe that much of the motivation to oppose same-sex marriage and anything homosexual is the "ick factor." For most people the thought of homosexuality is disgusting, pure and simple. It is unnatural and we can't even think about it. This is natural. What is wrong is when Christians cloth their human distaste for homosexuality in a garb of spirituality. While God clearly condemns homosexuality, He does so in the same breath as He condemns adultery and pre-marital sex. Christians need to be honest in their reasons for their actions, and be certain that they are actually trying to be one with God and thus condemn what He condemns. Be sure that it is righteous indignation and not just human disgust that is moving you.
Third, I heard a pastor on a popular, Christian radio show the other day talking about the meeting he and his church had organized in Seattle on this issue. He made a statement that crystallizes what I see to be a major failing of Christians today, esp. in this area. He said, "We have brought God on board for our fight." Uhmm, aren't we, as Christians, supposed to be fighting His fight and not the other way around. Too often today, Christians have looked to changing the Government or laws to make society look more Christ-like, instead of looking to God and leading the lost to Christ, so they will actually be Christ-like. I believe that Christians today have lost their way. We feel that our lives would be better if everyone acted like we do or at least like we claim to act, so we try to legislate people to behave as Christians, even those who aren't Christians. Dr. Bob Jones Sr. is the example we should be following. He went all over the South preaching the Gospel. In many a place bars closed down, not just for the length of the revival, but permanently. He did not march in front of their doors, decrying the ills of booze. He did not pass laws outlawing drinking. He did not run for Congress to stop alcohol. He simply preached the Word of God and men got saved, women got saved and they no longer wanted the bottle, they no longer wanted to sell liquor to their friends and neighbors, hence the closing of bars. He looked to God to stop the evil, and did his one main job as a Christian-lead people to Jesus!
Finally, there is a move afoot to amend the U.S. Constitution with the purpose to "permanently define marriage as a union of one man and one woman. This is the wrong answer. The Constitution is not the place to change social problems. The only purely social change ever amended to the Constitution was the outlawing of alcohol, and that one was later repealed. This does not bode well for the "defense of Marriage" amendment. It too could be repealed at a later date. More importantly, this amendment would introduce into the Constitution a concept that is foreign to its very nature. It is the bedrock of our country's laws, but it is designed to deal with the fundamental, underlying principles that make all our other laws possible, turning it into a battlefield for social change will cheapen it and will backfire on those who endorse this measure, because then we have opened the door to all social change and one day, there will be those that are in the majority that will want to deal with the social "problem" of Christians.
Christians, if you want to do something to fight what appears to the ever declining state of our nation, stop looking to Washington for the answers and do what the Bible tells us to do, " If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." 2Chron. 7:14 and "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all the things whatsoever I have commanded you..." Matt. 28:19-20a.

2004-07-04T23:04:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, America

2004-06-26T23:31:00.000-07:00

I can taste the dust. I feel it blister my eyes, and I have just finished the first chapter of "The Grapes of Wrath." I have never felt more a part of any story before. I actually have read about 3 or 4 chapters, and it isn't like I am reading a book as much as I am experiencing what these people are experiencing. Steinbeck has so completely captured reality and while the story is fiction, you feel like you are looking out a window on the life of the Joads and the rest of our country during this time period. The chapter where he talks about the banks being more than mere men is amazing in its power to describe what people felt then, and to some extent what we often feel today about government agencies and big corporations. I can't wait to read the rest of it, so I think I will go do that now.

2004-06-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

A character in a TV show tonight made an interesting comment. He said, "You make a choice and then you pay for it the rest of your life." He was speaking about his decision as a young gang member to take the rap for a killing of a member of a rival gang. He did not think about the pay back, and his younger sister was killed in an attempt on his life. In an age when taking responsibility for one's own actions is a lost virtue, this comment is a welcome ray of truth. Even when we refuse to take responsibility for our actions, there is a price to pay. We may mistake the price as "bad luck" or "everyone is always picking on me," but it is the often just the price we pay. Of course, too often the ones we love pay the price and , if we have a conscious at all, we will have to live with that and thus,our price again. My advice, think about what your actions BEFORE you do them!

2004-06-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

Storytelling is an art I think. Some people are naturals. I have known some people who have been great oral storytellers. We all know grandfathers or old men who can spin yarns as easily as the rest of us recite phone numbers. Sometimes they are relating personal experiences, but the way they tell it captivates us. Then there are the storytellers who write their stories down. One of my favorites is Stephen King. He uses the English language with skill of a surgeon, knowing exactly the right instrument to employ to get the best result. You actually see the world he is presenting you with in detail. The final storyteller is the songwriter. I was listening to part of a concert with Paul Simon and John Myer. Listening to some of Simon's classic, you are immediately whisked away to the world he is showing you. I love music, all genres, but I guess my favorite types of songs are the ones that are telling me a story. If the story is well told, I am hooked, regardless of the subject matter.
I think storytelling in its varied forms is vital to a healthy culture. It helps show us lessons we need to learn or remember experiences we need to hold on to. But the most important thing stories do is make us take a minute or two to slow down and relax, and enjoy. Life should be enjoyed, not just experienced.
So the next time you have an opportunity to listen to a story, do it.

2004-06-11T00:33:00.000-07:00

I wonder how many times the words "Ronald Reagan" appeared in chat rooms, blogs and bulletin boards this week. I am sure it is an astronomical number. I had decided that I was not going to post anything about him this week, but I feel the need to rant.
I have made the statement many times that people are never as bad or as good as "everyone" says they are. This statement has never applied more than this week. There have been people on the right who have spoken about President Reagan in such glowing terms that you would think that only Jesus Christ was a better person than he was, and that only by virtue of Jesus being God. Then we have seen people on the left discuss President Reagan as if he had been a plague on our country and that his death is to be celebrated like the eradication of AIDS.
The truth about President Reagan, like most truth, is more in the middle. I read an editorial today where the writer made reference to the President as a father. As I thought about it, I realized that is an apt description.
President Reagan was like a good dad for our country. He was there when we thought that life was hopeless, that all we could look forward to was more trouble. He was the dad that helped us see that life was not ruined , that there was hope and that the future would be a great place. He faced down the bully, told him, "This is where I draw the line and you will not bother my children anymore." and he beat the bully. He was the dad we could look up to, because he had principles and standards and he would not waver. He did not make up his beliefs based on what his fickle children felt were the right ones for that day. There was comfort in the knowledge that "dad" believed what he believed.
President Reagan was also like that good dad that we think sometimes, "just doesn't get it." He sometimes did not understand what we thought was important. Sometimes he was like the good dad that occasionally had favorites, sometimes overlooked one of the "kids." He had blind spots like any other dad, and he also made mistakes in his attempt to do what he felt was best for his children.
So my final thought is this: Thanks Dad. I did not always agree with you, and you were not perfect, but I am glad we had you in our lives and we are a better nation because of you. Go on to your just reward. Rest in peace, President Reagan.

2004-06-11T00:19:00.000-07:00

I watched the coverage of the funeral procession in Washington of our 40th president. I have decided that news personalities make as many dumb statements as the rest of us, maybe more. Here are a few examples:
One commentator stated, "All these people who came out today, they are all here." Uhmm, yeah.
As the hearse rolled up to the plane to receive the president's coffin, the commentator said, "The hearse rolls up." Now, I am glad he told me that, because I wasn't sure what that black car was...lol
During the whole coverage, the commentators made it very clear that the hearse would take the coffin to a point on Constitution Ave and then transfer it to the caisson. It was repeated over and over again. When the hearse pulled up and the caisson moved into place the commentator said, "The president's coffin will now be transferred (pause)(pause) to the caisson. I am so glad he told us that because I was so worried about where they were going to transfer that coffin.
Now, the saddest comments were the attempts by the commentators to sound profound. One in particular sounded like he was actually covering the event for radio. Statements like, "the air is heavy in Washington today," and, "the scene is majestic." He would tell the viewers what was happening right in front of their eyes.

2004-06-11T00:13:00.000-07:00

Another installment of "Did that sign really say that?"
There is a McDonald's near my home that has an electronic sign with two lines for information. I drove by it the other day, and I think they should have checked out what two lines they matched together because this is what I saw:
"Now hiring
biscuits and bagels"

2004-06-06T00:19:00.001-07:00

"The people have a right to know!" When someone says this phrase with the right inflection and tone of voice, and especially if the person saying it is a respected journalist, like Walter Cronkie, the phrase is powerful and compelling. Unfortunately, today, this phrase gets thrown around like a sitcom catch phrase. I have been thinking about the phrase a lot lately, and I keep going back to three basic questions. I don't necessarily have the answers to these questions, maybe you will.
First, where do we get this "right?" We have the right of free speech and freedom of assembly and religion, because our Constitution guarantees them to us. I have read the Constitution a couple of times and I don't remember the "right to know." Some of our rights are what we call "natural rights," like the right to life , liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Again, I don't think this "right" falls in this category.
Second, why do we have a "right to know?" Now I know that this question sounds similar to the first and it probably is connected, but what I want to know is why do we need to know, esp. all the things that the media claims we have a "right to know" these days. I can understand the public's need and right to know what our government is doing in our name. This makes sense, but I think the public is entitled to very little information, esp. about the personal life of people.
Finally, if we conclude that the people do have a "right to know." What exactly do we have a right to know? Is there no such thing as information that is not for public consumption? Do we really have a "right to know" that some man we don't know has been arrested for a crime? Would it not be more appropriate that we had a "right to know" that a man we don't know was convicted of a crime? Maybe, we don't even need to know that. Do we have the "right to know" the personal lifestyles of people we happen to see on the TV screen or the silver screen? Is there no aspect of an elected official's life that does not fall into the category of "the people's right to know?"
Maybe we should look at our own lives and see if we would like "the people to have the right to know" everything in your life.

2004-05-31T23:57:00.000-07:00

Where have all the IKEs gone? I just finished watching A&E's special movie about Eisenhower and D-Day, and it has left me longing for leaders like Ike. Now, I know that it was only a movie and if I gave a couple of rabid "news people" a couple of hours, they could bring me reams of reasons to change my statement. I think I will stay with my opinion for now. He was a man who sought, fought and got almost absolute power. He was in sole control of the largest military force in history, and he did it for the right reasons and he used it right. He was not seeking self-aggrandizment, and he was not trying to win a victory for a political party or ideological position. He was trying to win , and did win a war against tyranny and the sure destruction of most of the world. He had his priorities right. He wanted Roosevelt and Churchill to be able to do their jobs, running their countries and inspiring their counties when the days were the darkest, so he was willing to risk everything to do just that. He even was willing to take sole blame if D-Day had failed, regardless of the reasons for its failure. That, my friends, is a leader, and it is what we need in Washington, and in our state capitols , and in our city and county governments! Anyone want to volunteer?

2004-05-26T01:47:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a window hit by an object that doesn't shatter it, but it cracks it and the cracks continue to grow away from the original impact site, until they envelope the entire window? I think that is a good example of how an event in one person's life has consequences, and effects in others around them, even some they don't know. A tragedy brings out the core of people I think, good or bad. The incident I detailed in my last post of a man beating and threatening his fiance is a good example of these two statements. I am going to mention what I saw as a result of this incident. The neighbor to this couple called the police. The landlord and I went to this neighbor's house originally, because some other tenets who had seen some of the struggle thought that it had happened in that town house. She came to the door and she was having trounble breathing, because she was so upset and worried. She had heard the girl cry out, "Oh God, please, someone help me!" She was genuinely scared for this girl's life. Before this incident, I am not certain that this neighbor had even spoken to this girl before. The girl's sister and her boyfriend came rushing over when they found out. Fortunately, the police were already present, because if they hadn't been, the situation would have escalated into a murder. The boyfriend stated as much while we were waiting for the police to finish his report. Then after the police left, he brought a 9ml out of his car, waving it around like it was newspaper and gave it to the girl's mom. This would have been a far worse situation if hotter heads had prevailed. The sister, of course, insisted that the fiance had to "be on something" and reiterated that she would not have let a man do that to her. I wonder sometimes if we really know how we would respond to crisis before they happen. Another neighbor confided in me later that he had heard everything that was happening, but it wasn't his business and "butting his nose in" was a good way to get yourself in trouble. Good thing the fiance was not actually trying to kill the poor girl. Another neighbor sidled up to me and said that since I was being such a good Samaritan, could I ask the girl to repay him the fifty dollar loan he had given to the fiance. I decided that that was not a job I was gong to take. I was talking to a group of neighbors and commenting that often in these situations the girl is pushing buttons, but that that did not justify hitting or worse a girl. One of the guys said that he TRIED to avoid hitting his girl. He implied that there were occasions were hitting her might be acceptable. A couple of people connected to the girl had been at odds and those differences were put aside in light of what happened. My landlord demonstrated that even a guy that seems like a "good ole boy" can be adapt at calming a frightened woman down and helping her tell the police what they needed to know. See the spiderwebbing of this window into the human condition?

2004-05-26T01:26:00.000-07:00

"Domestic violence", such a sanitary phrase for such an ugly act. I think that in our zeal to be politically correct or to sound more sophisticated, we have robbed our daily vocabulary of a much needed item, words that sting when used, because the object they describe stings. We have down-played negative things because no one likes to look at unpleasant things, but we need to look at the underside of our lives often, or we will never succeed in ridding ourselves of the filth that lives there. How can a phrase as clean as "domestic violence" clearly depict what it is talking about? Let's look at an instance that happened earlier this evening at my town homes, then you tell me what we should call what happened. A young woman came home from work to find her fiance in less than pleasant mood. Their conversation turned ugly and arguing ensued, a common occurrence of late. He begins to threaten her, telling her that he will kill her. She tries to leave the house, succeeding only in getting the door open and one foot outside, when he grabs her by the hair, dragging her back inside,screaming loud enough that I hear her in my town house with the doors and windows closed across the parking lot. When back inside, he punches her in the mouth, and then grabs her around the throat, and squeezes, not enough to stop her from breathing, but causing pain. Then he spots the box cutter she uses at works , and places it against her neck, causing a small cut, all the time telling her that he is going to kill her. When he hears knocking at the door, he pushes her down, hard enough to bruise her head, and tells her to go upstairs. Petrified, she does. Fortunately, the landlord is able to keep him occupied until the police, that another neighbor had called arrive. Oh, and all this time, their young child is present. Now, does the term, "domestic violence" seem adequate? This is not even the worse example of "domestic violence" I have heard of.

2004-05-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had an irrational fear? I know of people that are deathly afraid of spiders or the such, and it controls their whole life. What I am talking about is a fleeting fear, one that just pops up and grabs you around your waist and refuses to let you function normally, at least for a few minutes. Maybe that is the way a phobia starts, hope not. I had that happen to me the other day. I could not sleep at all. I was running a fever, and had slight congestion. I laid there in bed trying to go to sleep. My mind was running a mile a minute, not a very sleep-inducing practice. I even tried to imagine a peaceful place to help convince myself that it was time to sleep. NO LUCK! I finally got up and decided to play a video game, hoping to get sleepy. After about an hour and a half, it became crystal clear, that it wasn't helping. So it was back to bed to try again. More hours of nothing resembling sleep, but what did creep in was a little whisper of fear. I began to worry that if I did fall asleep, I would not wake up, that my slight congestion would stuff me up and I would not be able to breathe. Now, I am a rational, intelligent adult. This was a silly fear. I tried to shake it off, but it held on, like a bull dog puppy to my pant leg. That ended any further attempt to sleep. Even after I got up and took a walk, I was still being stalked by a hint of that fear. I spent some time in prayer, and felt relief. Unfortunately, the little puppy of fear has nipped at me a couple of times throughout the week, nothing that had any noticeable effect. It is disconcerting to have this experience. I am heading to bed in a little while, and the thought has crossed my mind that I might meet the puppy again. The one thing I do know is that God has not given us the spirit of fear, so He will work this out. In the mean time, "Go to sleep, little doggie."

2004-05-20T13:03:00.000-07:00

Here is a furniture store marquee that should have been re-worded:
Welcome home 151st Battalion

12 months no interest

Are they bragging that they have not been paying attention to the 151st Battalion for a year?

If you find any funny signs, let me know about them.

2004-05-16T23:13:00.000-07:00

Utter the following four words, "the war in Iraq," and watch the comments fly. You will hear such things as, "Bush is a liar!" and "Where are the WMDs?" You will also here such things as, "God bless America," and "Support the war or support Saddam!" What you will hear the most I think is, "What is going on." and "Is there an end in sight?" I fall in the last category. I did not believe that a pre-emptive war was the right thing to do. It went against all that our country has stood for since its inception and against the generally accepted rules of war. I also feared that a war in Iraq would take away resources, troops, and most importantly, the focus on the more important war, the war on terror. In this belief, I have been proven right, unfortunately. Having said that, I also believe that it is in the past and the war in Iraq is here and we have to deal with the here and now. I wholeheartedly support our troops, and want what is best for them and us and the Iraqis. I am pleased that Saddam is gone and that the Iraqis have the beginnings of freedom. Now, we have to finish the job. The problem is defining what the job actually is. I have a hard time with notion of bringing democracy to the Middle-East at the barrel of a gun. Everywhere in the world and throughout history, democracy and freedom have been the product of a country's effort to be free. Most have needed outside help, but they have only received it, while they were already struggling to throw off the bonds of tyranny. It did not come by an outside force forcing democracy on them. We will not succeed in democratizing the Middle-east with tanks and bombs, esp. in countries that have not begged for our help. The countries in the Middle-East, and elsewhere in the world will only be democratized, when they fight for it. I really don't know what we have to do to finish the job in Iraq and I hope the President does and will tell us. I was reading about the fighting in Najaf, Al-Sadir's stronghold. It appears that in our efforts to defeat this trouble-maker, we have severely damaged a holy mosque. This has even our Iraqi allies unhappy. I think what we need to do in this city is go "old school" and I mean old. We need an old fashion siege(with modern weapons and tools, of course). Inform the citizens of Najaf that if they want to be safe, they need to leave and then just shut down the city, power, water, electricity, etc. No more costly incursions into the city. Make the bad guys come out of the city to us and then finish them off. I am not a military man, and this might have some flaws, but hey, it is an idea.

2004-05-15T11:23:00.000-07:00

Here is a further note on "separation of church and state." I went into a chat room last night, this time after asking the general question, I used a specific incident to illustrate how far afield we are today from the original framers'intent. It was about a local teacher who had been asked by one of her students in private if she thought the student would go to hell if she did not accept Jesus as her savior, The teacher said that she personally believed that, but that not everyone agreed with her. The teacher got in trouble for her answer. The responses I recieved form people to the incident illustrated completely that this principle is out of wack. One guy said that the teacher must not have been a very good teacher, because she should have responded to the student with a lesson on the history of the idea of hell, and mythology. The general consensus was that a teacher in a public school did not have the right to express her personal beliefs about religion to any student, regardless of the setting. I was frustrated when I signed off
because I had not been able to convince any of these folks that the teacher was not wrong. This morning, in the shower, it hit me. The teacher did not violate the 1st amendment. She did not make any law supporting a religion and she was simply expressing her belief. Some my argue that it is inappropriate for teachers to do that, and I would be willing to accept a school, like a business requiring their employees to refrain from proselytizing, but in no way did she violate the 1st amendment

2004-05-14T22:54:00.000-07:00

There is an old saying that says that if you repeat a lie enough times, people will start to believe that it is true. While I am not certain if this is true all the time, I am convinced that if enough people repeat an idea often enough with enough force of will, that people will start to accept the validity of that idea, regardless of its true merits. I realized this the other day. I was discussing the separation of church and state with a friend and he said, "What separation of church and state? That is not in the Constitution." I started to argue with him, when I realize that he was right. I had bought into the idea that has been perpetuated that it is in the Constitution and it is not there. You might be able to make the argument that some of the framers wanted a wall of separation, but they did not actually include it in the Constitution. I went into a political chat room and asked the following question:"Where does the Constitution require a strict, and complete separation of church and state?" I got two responses. One said it is in the first amendment, which when I challenged him on, decided that maybe he was wrong and the other one said that some of the framers meant that when they wrote what they did in the 1st amendment. It is time for people to read the Constitution and follow what it says, not what people would like us to believe it says

2004-05-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

Is there an answer for the Israeli/Palestinian conflict? In the long run, God will finally end this conflict and He will do it without the help of any Nobel Prize winners. But in the hear and now, what is to be done? I wish I could say that I have the answer, but I can't. I do have an observation. Violence doesn't seem to be working. I completely understand how someone would feel justified in resorting to violence when the other side has killed one of your own. I also clearly see that that has not worked and it only results in more violence. Violence is a necessary evil and in some cases it is the immediate regrettable solution;however, it should always be the last resort. Someone needs to say, this ends here and now. I will not kill you or yours when you kill mine. Compromise has been painted with such nasty brush, that the very thing that most often ends feuds and solves conflicts is thrown away. We see the results of the lost art of compromise every day on a far less fatal level. In politics, in business, and in our every day life. We are so consumed with being right or proving that "they" are wrong, that we only mire the conflicts we are involved in deeper. "I am wrong.", "I am sorry.", and most of all, "Let's agree to disagree." are all noble sentences and often far more effective than any violence

2004-05-12T21:58:00.000-07:00

It is official! The American television viewing audience is insane! Now, I know that doesn't come as all that great a shock, since the viewing audience is responsible for "reality TV" and the Fox network, but they have now gone too far. On one of the only "reality" shows that has any "value", American Idol, the audience chose to boot the one contestant that has consistently performed to almost perfection every week, and who has all the makings of a pop star. This is an outrage!!
Ok, maybe I watch too much TV. It was a dumb decision, but it is afterall not war in the middle east or children dying of hunger.

2004-05-11T22:39:00.000-07:00

I went to a friend's graduation tonight. I came away with a few questions, or comments or thoughts about the whole graduation ceremony.
First, let's talk about introductions for speakers. Whenever someone is introduced to address an audience, and this is not limited to graduation ceremonies, the person doing the introducing seems to find it necessary to recite everything that the speaker has done in his or her life, well, almost everything. They tend to leave out the bad things, like the time the speaker slept through class, or cut a class, or peeked at his classmates paper. I think that those sort of revelations would go a lot farther to helping the audience want to listen to the speaker than a recitation of the boards that he or she sits on and what awards they have won. Introductions should go something like this: "Y'all. Mr Smith is going to speak to you for a bit. Pay attention." definitely save time.
Second, let's talk about those graduation speeches. First, the ones given by the valedictorian and Saluatorians, why are you making these folks give a speech? They have already proven that they are smart and capable. Let them enjoy their day. I mean, what do all really say in those speeches: thanks for educating us (that can be done one on one), and let's go out and do something good (this is the subject of the commence speaker) Now, let's get to that all important commence speech, usually given by a visiting dignitary. These speeches are really just a waste of time. Please tell me what they accomplish? The obvious purpose of the speech is to motivate the graduating class to go out into the world and do great things. Uhmmm, isn't that the reason people go 2 or 4 or 6 or 8 years to college, to go out and do something great, at least for themselves. I mean, I have yet to meet a college graduate that after his graduation ceremony says, "Whew, I am glad that is over. Now I can get going to my life in a cardboard box under the bridge and my career of panhandling." Seriously, these speech are pointless and time consuming. The graduates don't need a speech from some famous actor or politician or athlete. What they need andwant is to get their diploma and start celebrating the end of all that studying. Ok, so maybe the Dean's List grads want to get their diplomas and start overachieving, but the point is the same.
So this is how graduation ceremonies should go: Do the whole pomp and circumstance entrance, then the President of the college gets up and says,"Welcome, graduates and family and friends. Conratulations on finishing. Thanks parents for the money. Now, here are the graduates." Then the graduates have their names called and they walk across the stage, get their diploma(the real thing, not just the case it goes in, there really has to be a way to do that) and return to their seats. When everyone has their diploma. "Goodnight, y'all"
Oh, one more thing. This whole nonsense about holding applause, shouts, screams of joy,etc. until everyone has gotten their diploma is hogwash. Parents should be able to shout and clap when they hear their child's name called. I mean they are filled with pride and with the knowledge, that their spendable income has just significantly increase, Hallejulah!
Well, Congratulations, Scott

2004-05-10T17:04:00.000-07:00

Just a quick programming note. I have started another blog, that is where I am going to be writing a novel..ok, a story. Feel free to visit and critique. www.brumborsstory.blogspot.com

2004-05-07T12:38:00.000-07:00

I think that my neighbor's three dogs have A.D.D. I was cleaning up the alley that runs behind all of our apartments this afternoon. When I came to the area behind her apartment, her dogs began their obligatory barking. They continued threatening me with their supposedly intimidating barking for about five or ten minutes, then they stopped. It was about five minutes later when they came back over to the fence and challenged me again. Almost like they had walked away from me to check out something else on the patio and then suddenly remembered, "Hey, aren't we supposed to be barking at that guy back there." This happened about three times while I was working back there. Wonder if they make Ritalion for dogs.

2004-05-06T23:15:00.000-07:00

T.V. is dead! The most important television show of all time is gone and we are helpless and hopeless! Whatever shall we do? How can we go on? And did we give this pinnacle of all that is good in our country the most fitting send-off? Should we have mourned it's loss for another week, and should we have found a way to have more ways to honor this golden calf? Uhmm...PLEASE... get a grip...it was a pretty good show, let it go and get a life.

2004-05-06T23:01:00.000-07:00

"Off with his head!" This is what I expect to hear by the weekend in regards to the Secretary of Defense. It feels like I have traveled back to the French Revolution. O.K., that is a little harsh, but so are the suggestions that Secretary Rumsfeld should be asked to step down or be fired. I have not always agreed with Mr. Rumsfeld, but in this situation the idea that he should be fired for the actions of 6 miscreants is outrageous, esp. in light of the fact that the others under his "command" have been handling the situation according to military procedures and are rooting out the trash. If I follow the logic of those calling for Sec. Rumsfeld's head, the following should also occur: the immediate superiors of those soldiers should be canned, the commander of the prison should go, the commander responsible for all the prisons in Iraq should be booted, the commander responsible for all prisons controlled by the U.S. military should get his walking papers, the commander of the war in Iraq should be cashiered, his immediate superior should get the axe, the Army chief on the Joint chiefs of staff should be unemployed, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff should be preparing his resume, the Commander-in Chief should be out of a job, and I almost forgot, since the CIA might have been involved this chain needs to be followed in that command structure. Maybe we should let the military discipline those that need it, and leave politics out of it

2004-05-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

The Iraqi prisoner of war scandal is one of the hottest news item around these days. It is a disgraceful act committed by a handful of degenerate soldiers who disgraced their country, their uniform and themselves. Now,we are hearing form the "peanut gallery" Now , I do not mean to show disrespect to members of Congress and the press, but I have to say that their recent actions give me little motivation to heap respect on them. We are hearing calls for congressional hearings on the incident, cries that this must not be an isolated incident, that the military is covering things up or falling apart, and best of all, you would think, from some of the statements that some of President Bush's opponents have made, that the President had to be the one holding the camera for the pictures.
Let's look at what we actually know. Sometime last year, or early this year, a few soldiers did unspeakable things to prisoners of war. The military authorities found out about it in Jan. They did not immediately rush out and send copies of the photos to Al Jazeera, or CBS. They did not call their Senators and Representatives and ask that Congress begin an investigation and hold televised hearings. They did not publicly apologize to the Muslim world for the abuse that the Muslim world did not know about. What did they do. They began an immediate investigation into the matter. They began disciplinary action against those involved and those responsible for those involved. They also began investigations into all the facilities around the world where they are holding either prisoners of war or enemy combatants to be certain that no abuse of detainees was occurring elsewhere, and all this occurred in less than five months. Seems to me that things are being handled correctly. We certainly do not want cover-ups and down-playing of wrong doing by American military personal, but we also do not need an explosion of coverage on this sordid affair, esp. when it is being handled in a timely and disciplined fashion. How about we hold off on the congressional hearings while the military cleans house and then if they fail to do their job, we can publicly flog them.

2004-05-05T19:05:00.000-07:00

Under the heading of compliments that don't quite make it, let me relate this anecdote. I overheard a woman in my apartment complex describing why she loved her boyfriend. She had mentioned a number of his good qualities, when she got around to describing his looks. She said, "He is cute. I mean he isn't terrible to look at." Imagine what she would have said if he had been ugly.

2004-05-05T18:58:00.000-07:00

Ever notice how press conferences, esp. in regards to bad news, resemble the shark tank at feeding time?

2004-05-03T23:27:00.000-07:00

24 hour news channels, what a great idea! I might be working when the 6:00 news comes on and maybe I don't want to wait until 11:00pm, so this is great. Of course, they don't cover my local news,unless there is a catastrophe. I will have to wade through hours of "news analysis" to get my news. I will get to hear "experts" interpret the news for me, because I can not possibly understand the "actual" meanings of the news. I will get to hear repeated stories about people who have been accused of a crime, but have yet to be convicted, and I will get to hear "experts" prediciting what is going to be the outcome of these cases. Of course, I will only get to hear about a select few who get arrested, others in similar situations will be ignored. I will get to watch the same stories over and over with some of the same "experts" telling what is "really" going on on different "news" programs.
Maybe I will just wait for the 6:00pm news.

2004-05-03T12:01:00.000-07:00

Faith, trust, believe, very powerful words, but words that are often used frivolously. For a Christian, they are even more important. We have no right calling ourselves Christians without faith. Most of us do believe and have faith, at least on a surface level. We have trusted that what the Bible says about our eternal destination is true and we have placed our trust in God for salvation. What about our everyday life? Do we trust God to keep his promises to us ? Do we put our faith in God to help us overcome difficult situations that arise? I think that most of us do, but we are like Sarah. In Hebrews, chapter 11, God says that Sarah conceived and delivered a child through faith, because she trusted God to keep his promise. When we read the account of the visitors that told Abraham that Sarah would bear him a son, we read about Sarah laughing at the thought, and we see that she gave Hagar to him to try and fulfill the promise herself. It sure don't seem like she had any faith or trust that God would keep his promises. I think we are too hard on Sarah, especially since she did what we do on a regular basis. We face a problem, a decision, a crisis, and we drop to our knees and beg God for help, telling Him that we are turning this over to him. We are sincere in this, but then we hold onto at least a little of the worry, sometimes we even try to fix the problem or face the crisis on our own, I think that this is not a complete loss of faith, but it is a futile gesture, because if God is the one who has to ultimately solve the problem, we are just causing ourselves more grief. What is comical, is that when God does come through on His promise, or does solve our crisis, we are surprised. I know this to be true, because I just faced a situation that I had to turn over to God, and I did exactly the same thing Sarah did. I believed, but I also thought maybe He doesn't want to help. Guess what? He solved the problem, and I was mildly surprised. So in conclusion, all I am saying is, trust God, really trust Him, leave the worry to Him, He will do what He said He would. Oh, one more thing, being extremely grateful, is far better than being surprised.

2004-05-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

I was watching Law and Order, SVU (I so much want to call it SUV, traffic division) last night. The episode was about the illegal trading in humans, mostly from Africa and Asia, and mostly for sexual purposes. The main bad guy was a Nigerian man. It made me think about comments many people make when discussing slavery in the 1700s and 1800s. I often hear people say that Africans sold each other into slavery as a defense against accusations of wrong-doing by white folks. I think about two things when I hear that, first, that statement is not completely true. In some cases Africans did sell other Africans into slavery, but in other cases, Jews, Arabs and whites captures Africans and took them as slaves. Secondly, and of far more importance, even if all the slaves had been sold by Africans into slavery, how does that excuse any one of the slave owners. If there were no one to buy the slaves, there would have been no slaves sold. This is just another example of people not wanting to take responsibility for their own actions, or in this case wanting to turn a blind eye to the sins of one's forefathers.
WOW, that was all intelligent and important sounding. Trust me, I won't always be so heavy and uhmm, potentially boring, so please do come back, y'all

2004-05-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, step right up and see an amazing wonder, a horrifying freak of nature, one of the only kind held in captivity. For only the price of your monthly internet service provider, you can be witness to the rantings of a thinking man. It is a rare treat, but it is not for the timid or the faint-of -heart. If you believe that you are now ready, step right this way